Stumbling Into 2018:6 Things ThatKeep Me Going

I can't tell you how good it feels to be typing in this white box again. These past four weeks have been the most challenging ones I've endured in a longggg time. Since my last post, I've moved in with a friend, helped my twin sister Lisa move to London, Ontario, to do her graduate degree (in -40 celsius weather fyi), and have spent a week straight in bed sick with a really bad cold. Despite the long days and tough labour that goes into moving, the hardest part has been living so far away from Lisa (7 hr drive). We've never not lived together and we have the best relationship. She's more than a sister to me and I can't explain the bond we have. We both didn't know what to expect but we knew it would be hard. And it has been. 

How have I been surviving? In a nutshell: Facetime, incredible support from friends and family, time off social media, and allowing myself to rest, cry, and talk if I need to, which included taking a mini blogging break. 

I'm slowly crawling out of my hole and have learned that although my world stopped for some time, the actual world keeps on spinning. And each day brings it's own beauty and challenges. 

I know I'm not the only one stumbling into 2018 in the fetal position. Here's what helps keep me going.  

Hat: Gap, $22. Sweater: The Bay Outlet, $6. Dress: Value Village, $8. Boots: Torrid, $70. (Shop similar).

Spending time with people who remind me of who I am. 

If this rough patch has taught me anything it's that I have a lot of people in my life who care about me and want to see me succeed. Our environment and the people in it can have such a big influence on how we feel and perceive ourselves. When I spend time with people who know the real me, it reminds me of who I am, why I'm here, and why I should keep going. 

Tapping into my inner creator.

Making things makes me happy. We are all creators by nature and our creativity is unlimited. More makes more. For me, creating can be writing, graphic design, taking pictures or cooking. It takes my mind off my stress and allows me to put my energy into something beautiful. 

Surrendering to pain. 

This time in my life has taught me a lot about healing and how it takes place. In order for me to move from a space of exhaustion and emotional stress, I had to surrender to the pain. I had to stop trying to control everything and just allow it to pass. I had to recognize my capacity and potential to heal. And I had to respect that potential by allowing myself to feel it all. 

Comparing myself to others my former self. 

During my lowest point, I found that social media was having a really negative impact on me and was making everything worse. I had to delete most of the apps off my phone for a little and I felt so much better. It's almost impossible not to compare ourselves to other people's highlight reels when we go on social media. When we remove the news feed from the equation, all we can do is compare ourselves to our former selves. It helps me to think about how far I've come despite hitting a low point, to realize my inner strength, and find strength to carry on. Day to day, we may not notice how much we've changed. But if you reflect on the past year, you'll see how your persistence has paid off. And, speaking of persistence...

Practicing the art of persistence. 

We don't change by night. When we change our daily habits, everything can change. The highest energy points in creating goals are at the beginning and end. The middle is where the challenge comes. The middle is where persistence, self-discipline, and daily actions are most important. They will bridge the gap between having a dream and living that dream. I'm often reminding myself to stay focused, keep trying, and do something daily that helps me be better.

Being grateful.  

Don't say I want, say I have. Be the thing that you want. It might feel silly at first but trust me, this works. It works in a visualization kind of way but also in a gratitude way. It helps you visualize where you want to be but it also makes you feel grateful for where you already are in your life. For example, instead of focusing too much on how sad I am to be so far from Lisa, I focus on how grateful I am to have her in my life. I realize that I am lucky to have someone who makes it so hard to be apart. Or when I was sick in bed, I tried really hard not to dwell too much on sickness and rather visualize wellness. 

What keeps you going?

Photos by Lisa Kidd circa early Dec.

 

Read More »

Multi-Coloured Sequins x Inspiration Awards

I am starting to believe less and less in coincidences. I feel like everything I've done and the people I've met have all played a role in my life or taught me something. I met someone last Spring who inspired me so much he literally brought me to tears. It was at a student-run mental health gala Masterpieces of the Mind and featured guest speakers and artists. One such speaker was Jayson. He told his story of living with mental illness following a car accident in high school. For years he struggled with living in fear and silence until he was able to get help. The most striking part of his story for me was hearing how he was able to change his family's mindset around mental illness. Since then, he's not only reduced stigma within his family but it's spread to his friends, school and community. He does so much to help others and contribute to this cause. I felt he was more than worthy of The Royal's Inspiration Award - Youth Category. And so I nominated him! And to his and my pleasant surprise, he was chosen! Watch his full story here. 

Ok so Jayson was definitely the star of the night but since this is a fashion blog, let's take a quick peak at my outfit. I bought this top over a year ago but hadn't found the right place to wear it. I couldn't believe what good condition it was in. I shop for sequins A LOT and this was by far the most perfect piece I've found. Doesn't it remind you of the Rainbow Fish colours? It was most fitting for this special evening. The sequins directed the rest of the outfit and so blue lipstick only felt right, ya know? 

Read More »

"My Latest Leslie Fay" #ootd x #inspirationgala

I wore this last Friday night to work The Royal's Inspiration Awards Gala. The night honours people for their various contributions and accomplishments related to mental health advocacy, education and awareness. It's always an emotional and inspirational (as the name would suggest) evening. My role for the night was social media and photography. 

I love seeing what people wear! I managed to get a few snaps of my outfits so I thought I'd show you. I bought this dress back in November at the Ottawa Vintage Clothing Show. It was priced at $80 but I haggled it down to $45. I adore the colour and the 70s vibe. I paired it with light blue stilettos and a white rabbit fur bag. 

Dress: "My Latest Leslie Fay", $45. Shoes: Spring, $20. Bag: DIY, see here. 

Photos by Carol MacLeod. 

Read More »

When I Grow Up

I think we all at some point imagine what we're going to be when we grow up. When we're young, we have big dreams. Doctor, actress, rock star, model, shop owner. And by the time we're graduated high school, that dream tends to no longer exist and we become more concerned about survival than anything. While this is a sad fact, I believe it's still possible to find a job you love that encapsulates your childhood dream, reality, and the present day job market and expenses. 

I'll be the first to say finding a job, any job, is difficult. Especially for new graduates of college or university who expect a little more than minimum wage. However, a careful mixture of passion, hard work, determination, persistence, a little bit of luck and a good outfit can certainly help generate leads and hopefully in turn, a job. 

I recently got to thinking about my childhood dreams and compared it to my current job. I found so many similarities and have decided to tell you how I've come to find the profession of my dreams and hopefully give you some insight on figuring out which path is right for you.

Let's start at the beginning. As a child I had many dreams. The first that I can remember is wanting to be a doctor. I wanted a job where I could help others and the uniform looked pretty awesome (to my naive and fashion-deprived eyes). I even had one of those pretend doctor bags and would walk around the house giving "check ups". Flashback to now, the sight of blood or needles makes me cringe but the compassionate side of me is still the same.

Me circa mid-90s. I still wear my helmet inproperly.

Next, I moved on to being a mail-man (yes, I called it that). I would get paper and a marker and force my dad to tell me how to spell things. I would write everyone a long letter with the four words I knew how to spell and put them in my "mail-bag", go around the house and deliver the mail. I was really busy. 

As I matured to the age of 7/8, I decided I wanted to become an actress. I even convinced my mom to put me in acting classes (they were actually really fun). I was always a different character around the house and would put on dances and plays with my cousins in my basement. My mom also built us a stage complete with red curtains and dressing area in the back. You're awesome, mom. 

Back to the story. If you examine these three childhood dreams closely, you can pull out skills and desires. Doctor: helping people, making a difference, health care. Mail-man: writing, publishing, sharing my writing, androgynous dressing (if you'd call that a skill). Actress: expressing myself creatively, speaking in front of others, building self-confidence. 

Rockin that lipstick. Nothing's changed. 

It's well-known among my friends and family that I love what I do. They sometimes laugh at how overly enthusiastic I am about my job and how much I loved school. I still rant about how much I loved Algonquin College. 

I work at The Royal on the Communications team. I do a lot of writing, speaking, and connecting with the public both in person and via social media. These tasks are essentially my three childhood dreams combined. Once I realized this, it all made sense why I love what I do. 

Live-tweeting one of our events at work. 

If you're feeling lost career-wise, try this:

Pretend your five. Ask yourself: What do you want to be when you grow up? 

Don't give up on your dreams because if you have to do something for eight hours a day, you better enjoy it. I believe your work should be a place of inspiration, growth, and learning. You deserve to feel excited to go to work everyday! Trust me, it's an unbelievably amazing feeling. 

This post was in part inspired by a video Jonathan sent me. 

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. And don't stop dreaming!

Read More »

10 ways to pretend it's summer.

MORE snow?
I want summmmmmmmerrrrrr.
I want to ride my bike. 
MORE layers? 
I'm hot. I'm cold. I'm cold and wet.
I have frost bite. 
Everything is so heavy.
Glasses fogged = blind.

These seem to be my recurring thoughts (and sometimes phrases) these days. While I do love the month of March, I really only love it because it means Spring is near. These last couple weeks of Winter are when I start to really become ~over it~. I get the sense that I'm not alone in this. I hear it from friends and coworkers, read it on social media and websites. We're all over it. Until the sun comes out for good, here are 10 ways you can pretend it's summer:

1.. Surround yourself with warmth. Wear warm clothes, drink tea/coffee, eat soup/chili/spicy foods. Invest in some greenery for the home/office. I surround myself with plants. Cactuses give that extra summery vibe (and they're cheap- I got my office cactus at Ikea). 





2. Look at pictures of summer. Fake plan a trip somewhere. I fake planned a trip to Hawaii last night and I have to say I felt better. Fake it till you make it, right? 



3. Listen to summer music. Songza's Tropical Beach Vacation is my playlist on repeat. 

4. Put on your bathing suit, grab the bubble bath and summer-scented candles, and pretend your tub is an ocean escape.



5. Plan a summer road trip, scope out what concerts you'd like to see this summer, or even start saving for a vacation. Get excited about your plans!

6. Wear sunglasses. Don't ask questions, just do it.




7. Wear some COLOUR! I see way too much black clothing during this season. Wearing colour will wake you - and others - up!



8. Move your body. We spend enough time freezing during winter. Exercising not only releases feel-good chemicals but also boosts self-confidence and best of all, it makes us feel warm, even hot! I work out in the gym at my work, yoga on Sundays, and a bit of home-Zumba in between. Wherever, however you can, get moving!

9. Focus on the positives. Put on your happy goggles and try to focus your vision on all the aforementioned. Spend time with friends and family, try a new recipe, write in a journal, cuddle your dog/cat, catch up on the latest runway shows, whatever makes you happy and focused, do it.

10. Do the research. According to statistics, in just twoish weeks, we should be in the clear (or so I hope):

Read More »

LET'S TALK - MENTAL HEALTH!

Today is Bell Let's Talk Day in Canada. It's an initiative started by Bell to encourage a national conversation surrounding mental health. For every text message or long distance phone call (Bell providers only), tweet with #BellLetstTalk, and share of the photo below on Facebook, Bell donates five cents to mental health initiatives across the country. 
As you may know, mental health is a cause that is very close to my heart. All my life, I've seen family and friends struggle with various types of mental illnesses. Days like today truly give me hope that we are not only reducing stigma but raising funds for more support services, something that is very under-funded yet much needed. 
I've been tweeting, texting, and sharing the image below all day, in addition to taking part in a special mental health town hall at CTV Ottawa. Although I'd love to crawl into bed right about now, I want to give a last shout out to today and encourage you all to tweet, retweet, share, and text. 
Most importantly, if there's someone in your life who you know may be struggling with a mental illness, reach out to them. Let them know there's hope, you're there for them, and it does get better. While I've seen extreme lows of a mental illness, I've also seen many people recover beautifully. I myself struggled with anxiety this year and without the help of family, friends, and coping strategies, I wouldn't have been able to get through it alone. 
If you are struggling, please know there is hope, there is help, you are not alone, and it does get better. Let's talk. 

Read More »

The Struggle

Winter is here. My migraines are tough. My car needs a repair. The bills need paying. My hairs acting weird. I got a pimple on my shoulder. My shoulder. And it's got me thinking. We're all struggling. Things don't always go right, people don't always impress, and pimples sometimes just appear in weird places. But we're all in this together. And there's another way of viewing your struggles. 

I miss summer and my bike, Edith. 

Winter is here, but the white trees look pretty in the morning (before it gets cold). My chronic migraines are tough but it's my body signalling me to slow down, and actually learn to relax for once. My hairs acting weird but it's nothing a turban can't fix. I did get a pimple on my shoulder but it will pass, and I'll happily hold the door open.

Knowing that we're all struggling together, and that every person has their own set of unique struggles they need to work through, is comforting. We all have ups and downs and we're all trying to figure out what works best for us, what gets us through the rough times and how to stay positive.  

I'm not trying to say that the struggles of others makes me happier, rather the fact that we all have our own problems, makes me feel less alone within mine. I encourage you to never give up or lose hope in whatever you're facing because it does get better, and each one is a lesson. 

While I know things like go take a walk, drink some tea, and think positive thoughts sound silly but trust me they do work in helping reduce stress and to feel better about situations (that could very well be much worse). 

Here's a few things that are helping me get through my current struggles:

Talking with my close circle of friends, fam, and coworkers. 

This youtube channel. 

Life of Pi.

Icepacks and Advil (for the migraines).

Red lipstick (for my self confidence). 



 


Exercising (great at alleviating migraines). 

Positive self-talk: you can do this, you're gonna have a good day, things will get better

Deep breathing. Inhale. Exhale. 








Tea. 

agreed. 

Read More »

Live your best life.

Tonight I had the great priviledge to see Oprah live. It was nothing short of magical, inspiring, profound, and refreshing. Although I was rows and rows and stairs away.. and Oprah appeared like a little purple star (she wore a purple sequin dress) with a LOT of hair from my view, she made me feel like I was right there, on stage with her. 

Oprah is one of those people (in my books anyway) that you could never even fathom being in the same room with because you've looked up to them for so long. That and because she's... well, Oprah. 

But being there, and hearing her wise and inspiring words, was an absolute blessing and a night that I will never forget. 

Once Oprah gave her speech, she was joined by CBC's George Strombo where he interviewed her until the end of the show. Their energy together was brilliant and he asked all of the right questions as well as entertained us. I was so proud to see a Canadian talent up there with the broadcasting Queen. I met George back in January and I can honestly say he's such a great guy- honest and genuine. 

photo by George Stromboulopoulos @strombo

As you can imagine, she gave the audience some very good advice. As you can tell from the title, the theme of the night was 'Live your best life'. It's almost impossible to remember every word she said or ponder every thought she expressed, but there were some lessons that I left with and plan on keeping forever:

YOU MATTER

You do. She stressed that no matter where you come from and what happens to you, you have a great power by just being. By 'being', we have the opportunity to find our purpose, live out our calling, and truly live our best life. Oprah shared the fact that when she was born, no one was excited for her arrival. Her parents hadn't planned her and she felt as though she was unwanted. She also shared that the only night her parents were together was the night she was conceived. She soon learned that it was a miracle that she was given the gift of life. She told us that we are not our disease, divorce, parents, mistakes, etc. Those things don't dictate the person we seek to become. 

ENERGY 

She talked a lot about energy. She taught us that we are all energy. I learned that the energy you put in to something (could be anything) is the energy that you will get out of it. The energy you release into the universe dictates how the universe will respond to you. She said not to think of obstacles as "How will I get through this?" and/or "When will I catch a break?" but as "What is the next right decision?" 

LUCK

Oprah says there's no such thing as luck. "Luck" is just preparedness meeting opportunity. She said that you need to prepare yourself and be the best you, so that when an opportunity comes, you are ready. 

WHISPERS

She said that most problems begin as whispers. And we often don't hear them until we take the time to stop, listen, and recognize when we hear them. 

She used this analogy to explain: 

When the whispers aren't heard, they turn into throwing pebbles (problems), and the pebbles turn to a brick to the head (crisis) and the brick to the head turns to the brick wall falling down on us (breakdown/disaster). It was a great analogy for recognizing problems before they become difficult to manage. 

INTENTIONS

She also spoke about intentions. We don't get in fights with other people because they lied to us or forgot our birthday, we get into fights because of how the action was intendded and how it ultimately made us feel. She said it's important that if you're in an argument, to fight about what you're actually fighting about. Say: "you missed my birthday and that hurt my feelings because it made me feel like you don't care about me." Not: "you missed my birthday- you're a $@#$%!" Talk about why you're feelings were hurt and how the relationship can be mended.

 

Read More »

Forever Four

Forever Four: 

Forever four stands for my two first cousins, Ashley & Brandy, my sister Lisa and me. We've literally known each other forever and hence why we're forever four. And although they've always lived at least 5 hours away, we've always managed to see each other a few times a year. Our group dynamic was built on a foundation of unconditional love and support. We 'get' each other and we go together like PB & J. They're an amazing support system and since we know each other inside and out, we're able to listen and give advice in the most thorough way. I can always depend on these ladies, to have a fun night or pillow talk,  through the good times and bad. Most of all, we have the most fun together. When you're so close with someone, it doesn't matter what you do because we manage to make anything fun as long as we're together. We're constantly entertained by each other and we feed off of our energy.

This week:

This week was refreshing for me spending time with some of my favourite people as well as SLEEPING IN! It was wonderful- I think I must've slept in till 11/12 everyday. I strongly suggest taking a few days off and spending it with close family and friends, you'll feel like a brand new gal/guy. Taking time to relax is something I've been working on for the past few months and although some would argue, I feel like I'm making progress. I'm learning that some things can wait. In my case, if my room goes a few days uncleaned (I admit it), then so what? I understand cleaning is therapeutic for many (even me) but I'm trying to not be so paranoid about things getting done. Because I'm realizing that life really is about people. When you die, all that's left is the inspiration you had on others and the difference you made while you had the gift of life.

The outfit:

This is an outfit I wore for a casual evening of Starbucks and the movies (we saw Silver Linings Playbook- loved it). My cousin let me borrow her blouse because she knew how "me" it was. I loved it and am thinking of purchasing my own! The velvet skirt was originally bought by my sister but it didn't fit her quite right so she generously gave it to me. This is definitely a casual look for me and I was so comfortable yet still felt a tad quirky. 

Shopping Hiatus Update:

I am SIX days away from being done. AKA I have not purchased any clothing or accessories (minus a pair of work shoes- needed!) in almost two months. I have to say it has been insanely hard. I did not anticipate such intense cravings and urges to shop. The hardest part for me has been not thrift shopping. That is for sure my biggest weakness (that and chocolate). And as hard as it's been, I feel proud of myself. Contributing to accomplishing a goal feels good. I feel like I have more control over my shopping and I've had the opportunity to really know my wardrobe inside and out and to really enjoy the clothes that I am so grateful to have. 

Forever four: Lisa, Brandy, myself and Ashley.

We were blessed with this beautiful sunset on the ride up. Snapped from the car. 

 All outfit photos taken by Lisa. 

Outfit specs:

jean shirt: joe fresh, $14

blouse: borrowed

skirt: joe fresh, gifted 

leggings: sirens, $10

necklace: aldo, $10 

Read More »