WHY I STOPPED CARING ABOUT WHATPEOPLE THINK

I've always been more interested in style versus fashion. Style encompasses everything — it's a mood, it's your clothes, it's the times, and it's your energy. Clothes are for us to wear. They're not supposed to wear us. Blah Blah Blah, you've heard all the quotes. And yet, sometimes I find myself being 'worn' by my clothes. 

When someone has style, you feel it. It's not that their wearing the latest fashions or the most expensive designers. It's that they are wearing what they want to wear because they want to wear it. Personal style only comes through when you have nothing holding you back. Other peoples' opinions and their comments, perfect people I see on insta, a fear of being rejected or unwelcome — these are all things that used to still hold me back sometimes from dressing fully for me. While I'm still on a journey of not caring what other people think, I have come to several realizations that act as my foundation. They're daily reminders to truly not give a F*CK. 

Blazer: Salvation Army, $5. Pants: The Gap, $22. Bag: Aldo, $23. Heels: Expression, The Bay, Outlet $15. Headscarf: Value Village, $4.

Caring too much about what other people think: 

is a waste of my time.

I used to spend hours and hours getting ready for school. And even then, I wouldn't ever be fully happy with the way I looked. I would over-analyze every detail. I don't look weird enough. I don't look high fashion enough. I don't look cool enough. This pattern is passé. And the list would go on. And on. My favourite outfits were created in 30 seconds. And while I knew this, I would still spend way too much time getting dressed. I have come to realize that allowing my own self-limiting judgments and those of others to affect me and what I wear in such a big way was a waste of my time and energy. I began to pretend that all those floating judgment heads didn't exist and all that mattered is that I was happy with how I looked. When I began to do this, I remembered how much I truly enjoy getting dressed and in turn, my outfits actually turned out better. 

Style is about so much more than clothes.

People who have style have a je ne sais quoi about them that goes beyond what they're wearing. They feel good. They are charming and perfectly unique. They dare to be different. They command attention without asking for it. I always try to remember this. Especially at times when I enter the over-analyzation department of my brain. You know — the one where you question everything and feel like your on a hamster wheel. What I lack in outfit, I know I can make up in presence. I remind myself that I am so much more. 

I only limit myself. 

When I'm too fixated on what people think of me, I am limiting myself. I've realized that when I care too much about what other people think, the only person who suffers is me. It's like placing my success parameters according to other people's perceptions. And the box gets smaller and smaller the more people's opinions I consider to be true. When I do my best to stop caring and cultivate a stronger sense of self, I feel my metaphorical sandbox dissolving and life opening up.

Caring too much about what other people think: 

is a joy-snatcher.

Do you ever get really excited or happy about something and then you tell someone about it and they're in such a negative mindset themselves that they shoot it down? Whether it's a dream or an idea, they just can't help but say something negative about it. I've had people make rude comments or jokes and tell me not to wear something. I am pretty good at laughing it off now but I do realize it takes away my experience of things that bring me joy. And I deserve to feel joy. We all do. When I started seeing other people's negative comments as a reflection of the relationship they have with themselves, I began to react less to it. 

PHOTOS BY MICHAEL TUNDO.

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SLOW FASHIONIS IMPORTANT:HOW I'M LEARNINGTO CHANGE

Being that this is a fashion-based blog, you may notice I almost never talk about fashion designers anymore. I used to be up to date with the latest runway shows, designer houses, and trends. Just the other day I found a Vogue magazine in a box with post it notes. Post it notes. 

Now, I just have my favourite(s). Vivienne Westwood has always had my heart. I've been following her for years now and she once said something that stuck with me. When she coined the phrase buy less, choose well, and make it last it was quite controversial — and rightfully so. A fashion designer, who sells clothes for a living, is telling everyone to buy LESS? Yes. Yes, she is. As a public relations professional and raging fan, this intrigued me. I love a rebel. I love people who stir the pot. 

Photo: Getty Images

And while I was intrigued, I also couldn't relate. Yes, it's easy for someone with a lot of money to say choose well — as in buy something of better quality with a bigger price tag — and keep it forever. But this isn't realistic for most people. I think she is encouraging people to save their money, over a period of time that varies to everyone, and purchase something of higher quality and design that will be more sustainable than fast fashion. If this is possible for you, I'd encourage this too. For the rest of us though, I've taken a deeper message from this.

I think we can all agree; As humans on this earth, who depend on the sustainability of the environment to live, it is in our best interest to respect the earth, for ourselves and for the new generation. It begs the question(s). 

How can everyone make better buying decisions? 
How can all of us reduce the amount of clothes that end up in landfills? 

There are many solutions. I've been following and intrigued by Fashion Revolution for a while now. Their mission is to unite people and organisations to work together towards radically changing the way our clothes are sourced, produced and consumed, so that our clothing is made in a safe, clean and fair way. They believe in a fashion industry that values people, the environment, creativity and profit in equal measure. And I do too.

So, how do we buy less, choose well, and make it last?

BUY LESS.

I used to frequent the thrift store a few times per week. I would buy anything I relatively liked. I had so many clothes but nothing to wear. Mostly because I couldn't see what I had. My room smelled of eau de thrift-shop-musk. My closet rail snapped. 

Now, I go thrifting every few months. I also strict-thrift. I'm very, very picky about what I buy. I put a lot of thought and fully inspect the items. I've changed so much and now I don't see the point in buying things just to buy them and sit in my room enjoying free rent. I've also become very aware of what materials my clothes are made of so if I don't love the way they feel, they're an automatic no. 

I found this video really helpful in resisting the urge to shop. My friend and local sustainable fashion blogger Alyssa shares her tips for shopping your closet when you'd rather be at the mall. Especially after scrolling through Instagram or fashion blogs and wanting to shop the trends. I understand the need to feel current and stylish but it doesn't have to be a barrier to buying less.

Dress: Lily Nymph Vintage, $25. Top: Gap, $23. Tights: Marshalls, $6. Boots: Naturalizer, $80. Purse: Marshalls, $50. Earrings: Little Arrow, $25. 

CHOOSE WELL

I'm not saying don't shop. Shopping is one of my favourite things to do and gives me great joy. Bliss, even. I do believe in choosing well, though. Vintage shops, pop-ups and flea markets are the best place to practice this. All of my favourite pieces are vintage. They are SPECIAL. Since they tend to be a little pricier and more eccentric than pieces I find in the thrift store, I take my sweet time deciding to buy or not. When you shop vintage, you're not only getting a piece that is of higher quality materials (generally!) but you're also re-purposing a piece that may have otherwise ended up in a landfill before it's time. Plus, you're supporting local small businesses and entrepreneurs. 

If you're in Ottawa, here are two awesome vintage clothing sales coming up: 

Ottawa Vintage Clothing Show — this weekend! 

Ottawa Vintage Pop Up Shop — November 18 (shop mine and Rosie's closet!)

MAKE IT LAST

Consider what you already have in your closet. Is there something you forgot you had? Is there a blouse that is just missing a button? Is there a pair of jeans that could use some distressing or patches? 

Think of your clothes as people. We need daily maintenance, upkeep and fixing up. We change our nail colour, get hair cuts, and wear different glasses. Your clothes sometimes just need a little makeover. And it can be fun! Make a night of it with friends where you bring a few pieces from your wardrobe and alter them in some way. Share and exchange patches, lace trim, buttons, you name it! And share skills, too. 

Learning the basics of sewing can be the difference between fixing up a garment or having to buy a new one, and have to throw away the old one, adding it to the landfill, etc. Another way to make it last is to do a clothing swap. Look out for swap events in your city or organize your own with friends and coworkers. 

PHOTOS BY LISA KIDD.

Sustainable fashion needs to be inclusive, respectful, and simple. I truly believe we have the power within us to help our mother earth and each other by the actions we take. 

It has to start here, now, small, with you, with me. 

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OUT IN MY CITY | MOO SHOO ICE CREAM & THRIFTING

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SUMMER 2K17 SO FAR / BEACH OUTFIT

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HOW I SPEND MY SUNDAYS

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DANCING FROM MY REBEL HEART

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MY HAPPY PLACE: #ONUNIONSTREET

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VINTAGE LOVERS TAKE THE FIELD

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SEVENTIES ROUGE AND NAVY

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LUNCH MEMORIES AND SHADES OF GREY

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GRECIAN GODDESS x CAPITAL CATWALK

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REAL WINTER STYLE FT. MY NEW HAT

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COOL AIR, DON'T CARE: HELLO WINTER

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Miracle Moments: Curated

It's time I open up to you about something. 


I have a super power.


Actually, we all do. We all have the ability to see the good in everything. Some call it optimism, come call it God. I find it through something I like to call miracle moments. I began noticing them a few months ago and started taking the time to acknowledge them, and give them the appreciation they deserve. Because if we only enjoy moments that are textbook awesome, we're missing out. Life isn't always awesome. But! If we can find beauty in the chaos and the mundane, it's not so bad. 

This post is brought to you by miracle moments and what happens when I begin to carry my camera around more often. 

This is one of my favourite plants. If you know me, you'll know my plants are kind of like my babies. Winter is hard because a lot of them don't get the right amount of sun. This plant lost a piece of it's branch. I was sad but there was still hope in the second branch. A few days later, I noticed this little leaflet sprout from the dead branch. I screamed. HOW!!! Nature continually inspires me to keep growing, no matter what. Update: the leaflet is much bigger now.  

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2016 REFLECTIONS: SELF-LOVE, GROWTH, BIG TINGS

I sometimes feel like life is moving at a million miles per minute. Like I'm on a rollercoaster, watching scenes of my life appear and then quickly disappear. So much is happening, both good and bad, but it happens so fast. I'd wonder "Wait, have I actually acknowledged that moment or did it just simply happen?" I think I've finally learned how to get off the rollercoaster and onto the lazy river, where I can not only see and feel moments but fully experience them, even when they are over.

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CELEBRATING EVERY BODY WITH DESIGNER KRISTIE LANCE

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OVER-THE-KNEE BOOTS: A LOVE STORY

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WHAT I WORE TO THE OTTAWA VINTAGE CLOTHING SHOW

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Kundalini Yoga | I'm Teaching!

As you know I'm very passionate about mental health and yoga has become a large part of my self care routine. I began to delve much deeper into the topic this year in particular. In January, I embarked on a six month Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training course. I intended on blogging my entire experience but life got in the way towards the end. So, I'm sure you were all on the edge of your seat wondering how it all went! 

In this post I want to summarize my experience and also talk a little bit about the basic reasons why I practice this type of yoga. 

My teacher training experience was the most intense, challenging, and wonderful thing I've ever had the opportunity of taking part in. They say that if you don't want to change, don't do this yoga. And you know me, I'm constantly wanting to improve myself, inside and out. The trainings consisted of a four day weekend each month of learning about Kundalini yoga, practising, meditating, sharing, and connecting with the group. I was with 13 ladies and we now feel more like sisters. I got to know them on such a deep level. I couldn't tell you exactly where they work or how many siblings or kids they have, or what school they went to or where they're from. But I could tell you about their soul, their true essence. I could accurately describe their personality and tell you the most beautiful thing about their spirit. 

And we all just thought that was SO COOL. It would normally take years for me to know these ladies as well as I do. It makes me wonder though, how much of the time are we really talking about anything that matters? 

My last two training weekends were back to back (May and June). We had to practice teaching a class, do our exams, and learned about death according to the yogic tradition. Which actually made me less scared of death and view it differently. 

The June weekend was our graduation weekend. It was so bittersweet but I knew that I would be connected to the group and the practice for long after my training. What was most incredible in our last sharing circle was to hear everyone's thoughts come full circle. We reflected on if anything had changed, how we had changed, and everyone was glowing. 

I felt so proud of the ladies and myself for completing such a feat. To be so daring as to want to fix ourselves and become better people not just for ourselves but for everyone around us, was not easy. To face our fears and go inside ourselves to actually work on becoming who we were put on this earth to be – it's incredible. 

At the start of the course, I didn't think I would actually want to teach Kundalini Yoga, mostly for fear of failure on my part. But by the end, I felt so compelled to teach. Simply because I want more people to feel what I feel. To feel connected to themselves and their truth. They say teachers aren't here to tell you the truth but to remind you of yours. We all have so much capability to do amazing things but we forget and we lose confidence and hope. This practice helps me remember my strength and the power within me. 

Being a Virgo (despite sometimes denying it), I have to also share the straight up practical reasons why I practice. Three years ago when I was having panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, I felt like I had tried everything to feel better (or to get some any relief). I was blessed to have a Kundalini Yoga teacher in my life (hi Christine!) who encouraged me to come to class long before the anxiety began. I didn't really listen until I was desperate to try anything. I started going to her class once a week and slowly started to feel better. I felt worse before things got better, though. Class was really hard for me and I would often feel tired and have headaches after class, but I felt my mind start to heal. And over time, the physical side effects wore off and my anxiety subsided. I haven't had a suicidal thought in almost two years and haven't had a panic attack in a long long time. I actually I feel better than I've ever felt. 

It takes work though. I practice a little bit every morning and still go to Christine's class every week (SUNDAY RITUAL). This yoga isn't easy and it isn't for pansies. It's for impatient people like me who like practical solutions to navigating this world. Stress exists and it always will. Shit will happen that will make you question humanity. People can be awful. But this yoga helps me see the good, feel alive, and feel connected to what truly matters. I am less yelly, as quoted by my sister. I feel like I have more patience and tolerance. I am in control of my anxiety because I am in control of my breath. I cherish moments more and I feel connected to my body. All of my relationships have improved (with my mom, sister, friends). And friends and family have told me that I'm waaaay better and I look radiant. Which is all too kind and pretty awesome, amiright??? 

It has been said: Kundalini Yoga produces results 16 times faster than ordinary yoga and is the original and most powerful of the twenty two schools of yoga, all of which are beneficial. The Yoga Sutras say that what you can achieve in 12 years of Hatha Yoga, plus 6 years of Raj Yoga, plus 3 years of Mantra Yoga, plus 1 year of Laya Yoga can be accomplished in a single year of perfectly practiced Kundalini Yoga. It is therefore known as the fastest form of Yoga practice and personal development. (source) If you want to learn more about Kundalini Yoga, read this. 

______________________________________________

And now for some exciting news. 

Starting tomorrow, I will be teaching a Kundalini Yoga class every Friday from 7:30-8:30 pm at Shunnya Centre in Ottawa, Ontario. If you live in the area, I hope to see you there! And for those who have enjoyed my Wellness Warriors collaboration, I am hoping to whip up a new video soon. 

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Minimal outfit + thoughts on commitment

While my personal style mantra is and always will be more is more, in the Summer time I like to keep things real simple. I also just moved to a new apartment a week ago so I have limited access to the full tundra that is my wardrobe. This particular Saturday was spent brunching and running errands. 

Since we haven't chatted in a while, I wanted to touch on a topic that's been on my mind: commitment. But more specifically, why is everyone so flaky???

I've noticed that people have a very hard time sticking to plans in general. I'm guilty of it too but for the most part I'd say that I do what I say I'm going to do. I've been talking to friends about this phenomenon and I feel like it boils down to the fact that social media makes it seem like there is soo much going on (FOMO) and making plans can happen at the click of a mouse. While this has its benefits, I think it makes people feel like they could be doing something better with their time at all times. It's like there is always something— even last minute— that could happen that they would rather be doing. It's not that the new activity is better than the ditched plan but it's the illusion of it. Has the Internet also made us scared of face-to-face interactions? So much so that we avoid them? 

Are we so disconnected from what is real that we can't even commit to a hang out? I'm not bitter about anything in particular I swear but I've just noticed this occurring a lot and felt the need to share. 

I see this happening not just in friendships but also in the wonderful world of dating. It seems like nobody would be caught dead looking for a relationship or wanting something serious. And even if two people were dating for over six months or even more, it still isn't "cool" to become exclusive. Hear me out. I've never had the dream of marriage and the white picket fence but I do believe in love and intimacy at a deeper level but fear it isn't even having the chance at being explored or experienced. Have we traded the experience of deep connections and close relationships (friends and romance alike) for the convenience of casual encounters? 

I feel blessed to live in a world of more opportunities and less expectations of women to fit into a cookie cutter lifestyle but is it getting a little out of hand when a person can't even commit to a having a drink? Have we become too protective of our time? 

Tell me your thoughts. 

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