HOW I STAY CONSISTENT

In a previous post, I shared that this year has been one of the most challenging ones for me. My environment changed a lot and many of my feel good habits kinda just went out the window. This began to take a toll on my wellbeing and I knew I needed to make some changes to my daily habits. In this post, I talked about a promise I made to myself that has changed my life. Today, I want to share how this promise has kept me accountable and how I've been able to stay consistent. 

Jacket: Adidas, Goodwill. Pants: Winners. Top and Boots: Value Village. Earrings: H&M. Purse: Lady Arkenstone Vintage. 

BE REALISTIC

I think we all have many goals in our head that we constantly repeat to ourselves. These goals can often seem very big at first and discourage us from taking the first step. We wouldn't typically say I want to go to bed five minutes earlier, we often start with I want to go to bed an hour or two earlier. But an hour can be unrealistic as a starting goal. If we decided to go to sleep ten minutes earlier every night for a week, that feels like something we can accomplish. 

I keep my daily promise quite vague and every day I alter it slightly to fit my needs. I listen to my body and some days the promise to exercise everyday turns into I promise to move my body today. It's a slight difference but it ensures that I still accomplish my goal of daily movement. Some days my promise will include I promise to rest or say no if I need to, because I know it's what I need. 

MAKE TIME 

I've kept up my daily good habits for three weeks now and I'm finally feeling good again. I'm learning to prioritize my needs and make time for them. They need a space to live too. 

I've learned that my wellness rituals don't need to take away from my social time either. If I have plans with a friend and have yet to have done any form of exercise that day, I will suggest we do something active. If I have dinner plans and haven't eaten any healthy foods that day, I will suggest we cook together or I'll have a herbal tea instead of coffee. When I made a promise to myself, I find ways of working it into my life. There's no reason the two can't co-exist. It's the only way to make it sustainable. 

MINDSET

I also had to change my mindset and be realistic. Accomplishing big goals doesn't just happen over night. I tend to fall into an all or nothing thinking spiral and it often stops me from getting started until I feel like I can just do everything all at once. I've had to change my mindset to recognize that everything counts towards the bigger picture. 

EVERY LITTLE THING COUNTS

Right now one of my goals is to save money and stay out of credit card debt. Finance is the best way to learn how every little thing counts. I've made small changes to my daily habits to support this goal. For example, I rarely pay for things in cash. This is because I track my monthly spending into categories of groceries, coffee, gas, etc. I can't track where my cash goes so I try not to keep any on me. By tracking every dollar, I can be completely honest with myself and my spending habits. We can't track progress without knowing where we stand. 

Another one of my promises to myself was to meditate every day. I used to do this every day for years but when my environment changed, I found it really hard to keep this one up. I decided to try doing my meditation first thing in the morning. That way, it becomes a habit and is prioritized over the time I take to do my makeup or get dressed. Since I made this change, I've meditated every single day. Even while traveling. 

SELF-LOVE

Staying consistent with my goals comes with challenges but I've created this promise from a place of self-love. It sounds cheesy but if your goals don't evolve from a loving place, you'll end up hating yourself if you don't measure up to perfection some days. There are times when I over-spend, when I don't have the best workout, when I over-book myself or eat junk food, but I forgive myself and promise to do better the next day. Self-hate prioritizes self-destructing activities over self-improvement. When we're mad at ourselves, do we really feel like being kind to ourselves? I've learned to fuel my rituals with love, compassion and kindness. Frankly, it's the only way to get to where I want to be. 

PHOTOS BY MICHAEL TUNDO.

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WHY I STOPPED CARING ABOUT WHATPEOPLE THINK

I've always been more interested in style versus fashion. Style encompasses everything — it's a mood, it's your clothes, it's the times, and it's your energy. Clothes are for us to wear. They're not supposed to wear us. Blah Blah Blah, you've heard all the quotes. And yet, sometimes I find myself being 'worn' by my clothes. 

When someone has style, you feel it. It's not that their wearing the latest fashions or the most expensive designers. It's that they are wearing what they want to wear because they want to wear it. Personal style only comes through when you have nothing holding you back. Other peoples' opinions and their comments, perfect people I see on insta, a fear of being rejected or unwelcome — these are all things that used to still hold me back sometimes from dressing fully for me. While I'm still on a journey of not caring what other people think, I have come to several realizations that act as my foundation. They're daily reminders to truly not give a F*CK. 

Blazer: Salvation Army, $5. Pants: The Gap, $22. Bag: Aldo, $23. Heels: Expression, The Bay, Outlet $15. Headscarf: Value Village, $4.

Caring too much about what other people think: 

is a waste of my time.

I used to spend hours and hours getting ready for school. And even then, I wouldn't ever be fully happy with the way I looked. I would over-analyze every detail. I don't look weird enough. I don't look high fashion enough. I don't look cool enough. This pattern is passé. And the list would go on. And on. My favourite outfits were created in 30 seconds. And while I knew this, I would still spend way too much time getting dressed. I have come to realize that allowing my own self-limiting judgments and those of others to affect me and what I wear in such a big way was a waste of my time and energy. I began to pretend that all those floating judgment heads didn't exist and all that mattered is that I was happy with how I looked. When I began to do this, I remembered how much I truly enjoy getting dressed and in turn, my outfits actually turned out better. 

Style is about so much more than clothes.

People who have style have a je ne sais quoi about them that goes beyond what they're wearing. They feel good. They are charming and perfectly unique. They dare to be different. They command attention without asking for it. I always try to remember this. Especially at times when I enter the over-analyzation department of my brain. You know — the one where you question everything and feel like your on a hamster wheel. What I lack in outfit, I know I can make up in presence. I remind myself that I am so much more. 

I only limit myself. 

When I'm too fixated on what people think of me, I am limiting myself. I've realized that when I care too much about what other people think, the only person who suffers is me. It's like placing my success parameters according to other people's perceptions. And the box gets smaller and smaller the more people's opinions I consider to be true. When I do my best to stop caring and cultivate a stronger sense of self, I feel my metaphorical sandbox dissolving and life opening up.

Caring too much about what other people think: 

is a joy-snatcher.

Do you ever get really excited or happy about something and then you tell someone about it and they're in such a negative mindset themselves that they shoot it down? Whether it's a dream or an idea, they just can't help but say something negative about it. I've had people make rude comments or jokes and tell me not to wear something. I am pretty good at laughing it off now but I do realize it takes away my experience of things that bring me joy. And I deserve to feel joy. We all do. When I started seeing other people's negative comments as a reflection of the relationship they have with themselves, I began to react less to it. 

PHOTOS BY MICHAEL TUNDO.

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HOW TO RE-FOCUS AT WORK WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE A DISTRACTED POTATO

It's 2 pm. How is it already 2 pm? 

You glance down at your empty coffee cup and contemplate whether it's time for another cup. 

You look back at your screen and back at the cup. You get another cup of coffee. 

You sit back at your desk and decide to focus. But first you check Twitter because you may have missed something crucial. Then you check Facebook just in case you missed something that wasn't covered on Twitter. You see that your friend tagged you in ANOTHER meme, your mom commented on your same picture for the third time (true story), and you read yours and all your friends horoscopes. After, you took a quiz to find out which Friends character you are. 

You decide that now you can focus. Now is your time. You open the thing you are supposed to be working on. You put your earphones in. And you're really not feeling this song but curious about what this artist is up to these days. They're touring. Next summer. Def going! Ok, ok, you find the song that will launch you into super creative work mode.

Now you can focus. Like hard. 

In the corner of your eye you see your phone light up and it's a text. Someone could be in danger. If they were, they'd obviously send you a text over a phone call. So you better check it. Like now. Anddd your friend sent you ANOTHER picture of their cat. 

Does this sound like you? If so, you've come to the right place.

Suit: Primark London, $70. Heels: Zara $35. Purse: Value Village, $8. Glasses: c/o of Clearly.ca. How cute are these frames?! When I saw this pink suit, I knew exactly which glasses to wear it with. I feel like a monochrome dream. Thank you, Clearly!

You don't have to hate your job to fall under the distraction spell. Maybe you love what you do but you've just gotten side-tracked and are having a hard time finding your way back to awesome. Here are some tips for feeling focused and energized:

Go.  

The fastest way to focus is to give your brain a break. If you're finding that you keep hitting a block in with what you're doing, whether it's writing or coming up with a creative solution to a problem, chances are your brain has too many tabs open. Try standing, walking around, going outside, and basically visit an environment different than the one you're currently in. This will give your brain some space to re-sort. Some of the most creative minds in history spent the majority of their time on leisure and sleeping. Check out this chart. The red bars represent time spent doing creative work. The green bars are time spent doing creative work.

I realize we live in 2018 and most of us are required to work a certain number of hours. But you get the point. Walk anywhere. The water cooler. Go! 

Awareness. 

This should probably have been first. Awareness is your friend. Once you become aware that you're distracted, you'll be in a better position to do something about it. Next time you get distracted, try taking an extra moment to analyze the before, during, and after. 

Two or three things.

On a day when i'm feeling most distracted but I have deadlines looming, I make a list. It has two or three (at most) things that I want to accomplish by the end of the day. When I can cross them off, I leave work feeling confident. During slower work times like summer for my job, I found it helpful to chop up my day into chunks. I use a Google Calendar and schedule each hour with a different task and colour code. I had it send me pop up reminders when it was time for the next task. It also gave me soft deadlines.

One thing at a time.

Managing social media is part of my job and a regular piece of my day. But it doesn't come without major distractions. Let's say I'm going on Facebook to check if we received any messages or comments on posts. So, I log on and BAM. Black hole. All of a sudden I'm conducting all kinds of creeping. At some point I return to my senses and think wait, why did I come here in the first place? It's like when you walk into the kitchen and immediately forget why you went there so you start munching on some cheese. Anyone? 

What were we talking about?

Right, one thing at a time! When I start something, I try really hard to stick with it. Even if it means having to be hyper-aware and keep a strict inner voice. No, bad, bad, close that tab, exit, delete, focus!

Music. 

I typically have to work with one earbud in at all times. I need to have background noise to help me focus. Silence just doesn't work for me... at work. 

If you're able to listen to music at work and it helps you focus, definitely try it. When I need to hyper focus, I tend to listen to mantras or instrumental music. I find music has a really positive influence on my work flow. Here's a link to one of my favourite playlists I made.

PHOTOS BY MICHAEL TUNDO.

Breathe.  

Here's a yogi pro tip! Sit straight and block your left nostril with your index finger. Inhale through your right nostril. Hold the breath for five seconds. Exhale through your right nostril. Try this for three minutes. This is the breath to help you focus because it corresponds to the left side of your brain, which is associated with logic. 

Happy focusing!

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Stumbling Into 2018:6 Things ThatKeep Me Going

I can't tell you how good it feels to be typing in this white box again. These past four weeks have been the most challenging ones I've endured in a longggg time. Since my last post, I've moved in with a friend, helped my twin sister Lisa move to London, Ontario, to do her graduate degree (in -40 celsius weather fyi), and have spent a week straight in bed sick with a really bad cold. Despite the long days and tough labour that goes into moving, the hardest part has been living so far away from Lisa (7 hr drive). We've never not lived together and we have the best relationship. She's more than a sister to me and I can't explain the bond we have. We both didn't know what to expect but we knew it would be hard. And it has been. 

How have I been surviving? In a nutshell: Facetime, incredible support from friends and family, time off social media, and allowing myself to rest, cry, and talk if I need to, which included taking a mini blogging break. 

I'm slowly crawling out of my hole and have learned that although my world stopped for some time, the actual world keeps on spinning. And each day brings it's own beauty and challenges. 

I know I'm not the only one stumbling into 2018 in the fetal position. Here's what helps keep me going.  

Hat: Gap, $22. Sweater: The Bay Outlet, $6. Dress: Value Village, $8. Boots: Torrid, $70. (Shop similar).

Spending time with people who remind me of who I am. 

If this rough patch has taught me anything it's that I have a lot of people in my life who care about me and want to see me succeed. Our environment and the people in it can have such a big influence on how we feel and perceive ourselves. When I spend time with people who know the real me, it reminds me of who I am, why I'm here, and why I should keep going. 

Tapping into my inner creator.

Making things makes me happy. We are all creators by nature and our creativity is unlimited. More makes more. For me, creating can be writing, graphic design, taking pictures or cooking. It takes my mind off my stress and allows me to put my energy into something beautiful. 

Surrendering to pain. 

This time in my life has taught me a lot about healing and how it takes place. In order for me to move from a space of exhaustion and emotional stress, I had to surrender to the pain. I had to stop trying to control everything and just allow it to pass. I had to recognize my capacity and potential to heal. And I had to respect that potential by allowing myself to feel it all. 

Comparing myself to others my former self. 

During my lowest point, I found that social media was having a really negative impact on me and was making everything worse. I had to delete most of the apps off my phone for a little and I felt so much better. It's almost impossible not to compare ourselves to other people's highlight reels when we go on social media. When we remove the news feed from the equation, all we can do is compare ourselves to our former selves. It helps me to think about how far I've come despite hitting a low point, to realize my inner strength, and find strength to carry on. Day to day, we may not notice how much we've changed. But if you reflect on the past year, you'll see how your persistence has paid off. And, speaking of persistence...

Practicing the art of persistence. 

We don't change by night. When we change our daily habits, everything can change. The highest energy points in creating goals are at the beginning and end. The middle is where the challenge comes. The middle is where persistence, self-discipline, and daily actions are most important. They will bridge the gap between having a dream and living that dream. I'm often reminding myself to stay focused, keep trying, and do something daily that helps me be better.

Being grateful.  

Don't say I want, say I have. Be the thing that you want. It might feel silly at first but trust me, this works. It works in a visualization kind of way but also in a gratitude way. It helps you visualize where you want to be but it also makes you feel grateful for where you already are in your life. For example, instead of focusing too much on how sad I am to be so far from Lisa, I focus on how grateful I am to have her in my life. I realize that I am lucky to have someone who makes it so hard to be apart. Or when I was sick in bed, I tried really hard not to dwell too much on sickness and rather visualize wellness. 

What keeps you going?

Photos by Lisa Kidd circa early Dec.

 

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How to deal with anxiety & be fearless

I've gone from having anxiety and being afraid to leave the house and having a fear of heights to going on planes, running races, and learning to be fearless. This year has been my year for taking chances, facing my fears, and learning to love me. I've wanted to make a video about this for so long and I'm happy to finally bring it to you. 

I've shortened my story a lot for the sake of this not being a film so just keep that in mind while watching. There are so many things I would add but I will save those for another video. I hope this helps or inspires you in any way. Please share it with a friend if you think they might benefit! 

As always, thank you so much for your love and support on here, it truly means a lot! 

If you're experiencing mental health issues and need help, please check out my other posts on this topic (which include links to get help): 

• Let's Talk: My Story
• Mental Illness: How to get help in Ottawa and be an advocate 

Comment any tips and resources you find helpful, it's all about sharing!

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Public Relations: Life after Graduation

You've written one hundred press releases, you can come up with strategies, key messages, tactics, and objectives in any situation, and you can do a media interview on the spot, so NOW WHAT? 

As a proud public relations college graduate, PR is a topic I'm pretty passionate about. While I learned so much in school and gained experience, I found I had a difficult time adjusting to life after school and job hunting. I've been working in the field now for over three years and I've learned a few things.

Grab a tea or coffee and a note-jotting device! (I say device cause like who uses pen and paper anymore?) *raises hand*

A brief backstory: I studied public relations at Algonquin College from September 2010 and graduated in June 2012. I just had to reference a calendar to bring you those dates. Wow. 

I simply adored the program, the people, the courses, everything. I learned so much and would re-take it if I could. After graduation though, I was slightly panicked about finding a job. The place where I did my internship couldn't hire me full time and so I was working in retail while job searching. I freelanced for them on a very part time basis and was eventually hired for more and more hours. I've been full time for almost three years now. Time flies! 

Here are five tips to help you in your job search.

1. Find a job that will pay your bills whilst searching for a PR job. 

I know you're itching to work in your chosen field but someone's got to pay those bills! You might get very busy like I did. I worked full time in two consignment clothing stores but found a way to incorporate PR into it. I began creating the stores newsletters and managing their social media. This allowed me to put my newly learned skills to the test. Grab lunch with your boss and discuss ways you can help their business with your new skills. Create a proposal or plan and present it to them. (I created a document with a social media plan to show ways I can help grow their accounts). I also started my blog a few months after graduating and that helped me hone my writing skills. 

2. Keep at it. Stay in it. Don't drift. 

The thing about college is you pay a lot of money and spend a lot of time learning new skills in hopes of getting a job you'll love. But the thing about learning is you have to continually practice your skill to build on what you've learned and mostly to remember it all. If you don't find a job right away, find other ways of staying connected to the field. Start a blog, strengthen your social media skills, grab a coffee and pick the brain of a former professor or mentor that you met in college. Write something, even if only you will see it. Keep learning. The best way to do this is to volunteer or do an internship. It might be tough to do if it's unpaid and you're living on your own but try to make it work. Even if it's on an event basis, just a few hours per week, you have to make time in your schedule. Think of an internship as a prolonged interview. It's a chance to show what you can do and prove your skills are needed. Even if they don't hire you at the end, you will learn so much and network with people who can help you. 

3. Networking: Awkward? Yes. Important? YES! 

SO IMPORTANT. Public relations is all about building strong relationships with people. Be it clients, reporters, bloggers, non profits, and the list goes on. Don't be afraid to reach out to an old boss, or your new boss, or a former professor, your friend's cousin, your mom's friend, you get the point. I had a coffee with a former professor who was the communications person at my ex-boyfriend's dad's ex-fiance's work. THAT was a mouthful. Point being: she helped me so so much at that time in my life. She re-inspired me to push myself to my full potential and gave me so many great ideas. She even offered me a part time job. Don't ever underestimate the power of coffee and face-to-face interaction. Accomplished adults want you to succeed. And they want to help you! 

Networking events are great ways to meet new people. During school, I attended as many as I could, often going alone. I highly recommend attending these solo, as scary as that may be! It's the best way to practice your networking skills and that way you are forced to talk to people. Even if I attended an event and only talked to one person, it was still worth it for me. You never know who you'll meet. If you're in Ottawa, check out IABC or CPRS. MeetUp and Eventbrite may also have these type of events. Psst- they also have apps and systems that can send you a weekly round up of events in your city! TRES COOL. 

If you're not sure who you could ask, I would say it's not uncommon these days to add someone on LinkedIn and message them if you have similar interests. Just remember that everyone is busy and if you get to the point right away and have a clear objective, you will get a positive response. Add me on LinkedIn if you haven't already!

*this is just my opinion of LinkedIn because I'm speaking from experience. Some "gurus" may say to not ever add someone you don't personally know. 

4. Follow up. Be annoying. But polite. 

Like I said in my last bullet, people are busy. That's not to say they don't care. It's likely that it's just slipped their mind or haven't gotten the chance to get back to you. If you haven't heard a response from a job or a coffee meeting invitation, there is nothing wrong with a friendly follow up message. Maybe choose a different form of contact than you originally used. Send a friendly tweet or instagram comment. "Love the new glasses! Hope to meet up soon!" Or "I see you're attending that event, I'll see you there!" 

5. Frame of Mind: Set to Positive

You might not hear a response right away about a job, or a meeting, or a proposal. That's normal. You might drift into a spiral of negative thoughts. Feeling like you're giving a lot of effort to receive nothing in return can lead to a thought like "Nobody wants me." Please, please, challenge that thought!! You are brilliant and will find a job you love. It just takes time. Practise positive self talk or write yourself daily reminder post-its on your laptop or desk so that you remember how awesome you are. If you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for potential employers to. Keep building up your confidence because it will translate in your messages, meetings, interviews, and when you do get your first pr job! 

I hope this post helps you along in your career path. I have so much more to say and will be posting more about this topic on here. I wish you the best of luck and am always here to answer any questions you may have! 

Keep shining!

Here's a special work #OOTD for you. I literally wore this to work last week. 

Top: Value Village, $5. Jeans: Reitmans, $16. Similar here. Shoes: gifted, thrifted. Purse: gifted, vintage. Necklace: Forever 21, $12. Similar here.

CRISIS!!!! 

ALL GOOD.

Tweeting at all times. 

PHOTOS BY LISA KIDD.

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10 ways to pretend it's summer.

MORE snow?
I want summmmmmmmerrrrrr.
I want to ride my bike. 
MORE layers? 
I'm hot. I'm cold. I'm cold and wet.
I have frost bite. 
Everything is so heavy.
Glasses fogged = blind.

These seem to be my recurring thoughts (and sometimes phrases) these days. While I do love the month of March, I really only love it because it means Spring is near. These last couple weeks of Winter are when I start to really become ~over it~. I get the sense that I'm not alone in this. I hear it from friends and coworkers, read it on social media and websites. We're all over it. Until the sun comes out for good, here are 10 ways you can pretend it's summer:

1.. Surround yourself with warmth. Wear warm clothes, drink tea/coffee, eat soup/chili/spicy foods. Invest in some greenery for the home/office. I surround myself with plants. Cactuses give that extra summery vibe (and they're cheap- I got my office cactus at Ikea). 





2. Look at pictures of summer. Fake plan a trip somewhere. I fake planned a trip to Hawaii last night and I have to say I felt better. Fake it till you make it, right? 



3. Listen to summer music. Songza's Tropical Beach Vacation is my playlist on repeat. 

4. Put on your bathing suit, grab the bubble bath and summer-scented candles, and pretend your tub is an ocean escape.



5. Plan a summer road trip, scope out what concerts you'd like to see this summer, or even start saving for a vacation. Get excited about your plans!

6. Wear sunglasses. Don't ask questions, just do it.




7. Wear some COLOUR! I see way too much black clothing during this season. Wearing colour will wake you - and others - up!



8. Move your body. We spend enough time freezing during winter. Exercising not only releases feel-good chemicals but also boosts self-confidence and best of all, it makes us feel warm, even hot! I work out in the gym at my work, yoga on Sundays, and a bit of home-Zumba in between. Wherever, however you can, get moving!

9. Focus on the positives. Put on your happy goggles and try to focus your vision on all the aforementioned. Spend time with friends and family, try a new recipe, write in a journal, cuddle your dog/cat, catch up on the latest runway shows, whatever makes you happy and focused, do it.

10. Do the research. According to statistics, in just twoish weeks, we should be in the clear (or so I hope):

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