Forever Four: A New (and exciting!) Chapter

 Last September, I was given the amazing news that both of my cousins became pregnant! It was so unbelievable that both sisters were expecting and I was going to be an honorary Aunt (but technically cousin) to two beautiful baby boys. We literally have no babies or even kids in our immediate family (even though we're all technically "Kidd"s) so we're all super excited to meet them! We all stayed with my cousin Ashley in Sarnia at her new apartment. The eight hour drive was all worth being together and spending time with them. When us four girls get together, it's wonderful chaos. We can chat for hours and we have the best times together. Seeing the baby's room and talking about babies all week has definitely got me so excited to meet my nephews. 
It's always tricky figuring out what to wear to family events. Whenever I'm picking out what to wear to a birthday, wedding, or baby shower in this case, I always throw rules out the window and stay true to my style. I wore my new Indian-style tunic. I felt like the light colour was perfect for a baby shower and paired it with a matching clutch. My gold shoes were a must given the hints of gold in the dress and my scarf was more a fluke since I was so cold that day. 

Dress: Value Village, $10. Scarf: Value Village: $4. Clutch: Jean-Paul Gaultier perfume, gifted. Leggings: American Apparel, $40. Shoes: Winners, $15

Lisa, Ashley, myself, Brandy. All pics taken by Lisa & Mandy. 

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Dear Grandma Kitty Kats

It is with a heavy heart that I tell you that my grandmother, Grandma Kitty Kats, passed away on August 31, 2013. After surviving several heart attacks, and spending three weeks in the ICU, she had many other complications and passed peacefully, surrounded by love. 

I had never lost someone so close to me before and while I know most of you didn't know her, she meant the world to me. She's touched so many lives and inspired so many, while she was living and even now after death. Her passing has really hit me (and my whole family so hard) because she was literally our rock. We could always, always, count on her and everyone would call her whenever we had a problem, needed someone to talk to, or simply wasn't sure how to cook a spaghetti squash (thanks gram).

When someone dies, we all have regrets. We all wish we could've, should've, would've visited more or told them how much we love and appreciate them more than we did. Reality is we can't go back in time (they're still working on it) and all we can do is reflect on what did happen, what we did say, and the love we did and still feel for that person. 

My grandma really lived her life. She lived for family and for herself. She did the things she loved. She painted, she gardened (even with a sore back and allergies), she cooked, and most importantly she loved her family unconditionally— truly.

She's taught me so much throughout my life and was an extremely positive influence for me growing up. I'll always remember the time we spent together and the love I felt every second we were together. What her life and death has taught me and my family is extraordinary. 

She's inspired me to treasure each moment, to love unconditionally, and to do what makes me happy.

And for that, I am forever thankful. 

Grandma Kitty Kats, I love you so much and I'd like to sincerely thank you. I'll never forget the way your soft skin felt when I hugged you, your laugh, your gorgeous hair, your pearls, the way your sticky buns taste, the way you said "again" and "roast beast", your delicious iced coffees, and the way you loved me so much. And while your body is gone, I still feel you here with me and I always will, until we meet again.

rest in peace

These are from grandma's garden. She called them "talking flowers" because when we were little, she would make the flowers talk with her hand :)

I'm not sure if you ever got to see how your flowers turned out, Grandma, but look,  they're beautiful. Just like you.

The picture board we made in memoriam of her life.

The name 'Grandma Kitty Kats' was officially created when I was a small human and couldn't differentiate the two grandmas and she had two cats.

Couldn't have made it through this hard time without these ladies- my beautiful sister and cousins. Family, love, support, music, art, and photographs are what helps me cope.

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Mental Health

This past month has been an absolute roller coaster. I moved out on August 1 with my twin sister and two weeks ago, my grandma suffered a heart attack (she's getting better now).  My mental and physical health have definitely been tested these past few weeks and I have to say with the support of family, friends, and a lot of coffee, I've managed to stay pretty positive. With all of that, my blog was put on the back burner. While I've had no time to post, I'm happy to announce that I'm getting back into the groove.

Today I am introducing the topic of mental health to my blog.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nurse, or psychiatrist of any sort. I am simply speaking to my experience working in the mental health field (as a communications assistant) and from life experience with family members and friends who have a mental illness. Please accept my blog posts simply as opinion pieces rather than medical advice. If you have a mental health concern, I urge you to speak to someone about it. To learn more about mental health, visit: www.ementalhealth.ca. 

As you can probably tell, fashion is a big passion of mine. I love the way clothes help me to feel confident, beautiful and unique. I believe that clothes and fashion are a part of who I am and are a way of expressing my personality and creativity. I strongly believe that how you feel on the outside is linked to how you feel on the inside and vice-versa. Feeling beautiful and loving the way I look certainly helps me to feel confident on the inside. Just like everyone else, I don't always love my outfit or my size or how my hair looks but I try my best to love myself no matter what. Feeling happy and confident reflects how we see ourselves. This is why our mental health is so important: it affects more than just the brain.

Mental health is something I'm very passionate about. This passion, however, is not fueled by fur or sequins but by experience. I've witnessed a number of family members and friends struggle with mental illness as well as heard the stories of many others. While a mental illness can be treated and symptoms can be managed, a lot of people who struggle with mental illness say the stigma attached to it is worse than the illness itself. This just makes me mad. It's hard enough having any illness without feeling scared or ashamed to talk about it and get help. I think the stigma associated with mental illness comes from many things, one being the fact that it deals with emotions and emotions are often tied to personality traits and characteristics of people. And while a mental illness can sometimes, and often times, be misunderstood as having bad character traits or personality flaws, it's important to remember that a mental illness is just that: an illness. And a mental illness is hard enough without having to deal with the judgement of others. My experience living with family who has a mental illness is where my passion to get involved came about. 

From seeing the way a mental illness affects day-to-day life plus having to deal with the stigma, I've become very passionate about promoting awareness, reducing stigma as well as being a lot more understanding as a person. The stigma really fires me up and makes me mad but I've managed to turn my anger into a drive to create change.

I've wanted to introduce this topic with you for a while now yet couldn't figure out how to introduce the topic of mental health into a fashion blog. However, I knew I had to find a way as mental health is literally as big (if not bigger) part of my life as fashion. As I got to thinking, I realized that fashion and mental health are connected; it's the connection between physical health and mental health. Feeling stressed, upset, or anxious can be emotionally and physically draining. And low energy leads to less motivation to take care of your physical health, and in turn a reduced level of confidence. When you dislike how you look, it can affect how you feel. I want to explore the two topics together and hopefully give you some insight into mental health and why it's so important to take good care of your mind. I also want let you know that you're strong, you're beautiful and you matter.

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Psychedelic Easter Winds

easter:
Today I celebrated Easter with my family. As much as we sometimes want to bite each other's heads off and spit them off the balcony (that's normal, right?), I love them and I'm so lucky to have the most hilarious and genuinely caring parents. And while I love my parents and my mom cooked a kick-ass ham, my grandmother was the highlight of my evening. She wore all black (as usual) but this time with a bright orange scarf. I took hundreds of pictures of her and even recorded a few of her stories. Stay tuned for that post!

my outfit: 
I wore this to run errands during the day and for dinner. The shirt, coat, belt, and purse are my most recent thrift finds. You may recognize this 'psychedelic' shirt from my latest haul video. I wanted to wear this shirt today firstly because it's AWESOME and secondly to show how you can make a seemingly ridiculous top work in an outfit. Or at least, it works for me (ha!). I adore the colours in this shirt and felt the gold belt and gold buttons went well with the red pants. I also want to mention that this belt completely reminded me of one of my favourite bloggers (and totally inspired me to buy it), she's fabulous and from sunny Spain, Mis Papelicos. 

It was verrrrrrry windy today. 

Would you like some tea?

me, grandma, lisa (twin sister)

All pictures taken by Lisa Kidd.

shirt: value village, $4

belt: salvation army, $1

jeans: old navy, $10

boots: expressions, the bay, $20

purse: bianca, value village, $5

ring: value village, $18

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It's in the genes.

This past weekend was incredibly refreshing and relaxing- two words you wouldn't have heard me use to describe my weekends in a while. Relaxing, sure. Refreshing, though, is a very special word. Feeling refreshed- to me- means seeing, hearing and learning something new. I drove down to my aunt Bev's house in Pembroke (about 1.5 hrs away) for a night. We both adore fashion, design, and are into eating healthy so we had lots to talk about and there was a lot I learnt from her. I think a love for fashion must be ingrained in our genes as my grandmother had an amazing sense of style (and still does), many of the paintings in my aunts house were either done by her or my grandmother, and my great grandmother used to make the most beautiful clothes. She first gave me a tour (see below her beautifully decorated abode), we then chatted and caught up, went out for dinner, and returned to her house to rummage through all her old fashion illustrations and favourite fashion books (she's got a tonne!) Sunday morning was spend turning my $1 piece of white rabbit fur into a beautiful and glamorous clutch (stay tuned for the pictures). 
She's so talented. And I know that word gets thrown around a lot, especially in fashion, but this lady IS talented. We have a similar sense of fashion and tend to like a lot of the same things when it comes to fashion and personal style. I regret not taking any pictures of her fashion sketches and pieces she's made because I don't think I can convey how beautiful her work is in words. To give a bit of back story- she once lived in Toronto, working in the Toronto Fashion Incubator and as an assistant to Arthur Mendonca but now works as an engineer. So she knows her stuff and she's very good at it. I loved going through all her work and hearing all her amazing stories. I can't wait to spend many more weekends with her- we were both so glad we made the time to get together and really get to know each other. If you're lucky enough to have relatives near you that you haven't got around to visiting, go now! You'll never be not busy so make time and go. You'll be surprised at the good it'll do.

Dining room.

Chandelier at night. 

Living room.

"Americans in Paris" - living room.

Living room- adore this ottoman. 

Just a few of her fashion books in the "Paris" themed room (guest room).

My grandmother in 1959, guest room. How classy?

Paris.

Paris.

Caramel in Paris.

Aunt Bev. 

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Forever Four

Forever Four: 

Forever four stands for my two first cousins, Ashley & Brandy, my sister Lisa and me. We've literally known each other forever and hence why we're forever four. And although they've always lived at least 5 hours away, we've always managed to see each other a few times a year. Our group dynamic was built on a foundation of unconditional love and support. We 'get' each other and we go together like PB & J. They're an amazing support system and since we know each other inside and out, we're able to listen and give advice in the most thorough way. I can always depend on these ladies, to have a fun night or pillow talk,  through the good times and bad. Most of all, we have the most fun together. When you're so close with someone, it doesn't matter what you do because we manage to make anything fun as long as we're together. We're constantly entertained by each other and we feed off of our energy.

This week:

This week was refreshing for me spending time with some of my favourite people as well as SLEEPING IN! It was wonderful- I think I must've slept in till 11/12 everyday. I strongly suggest taking a few days off and spending it with close family and friends, you'll feel like a brand new gal/guy. Taking time to relax is something I've been working on for the past few months and although some would argue, I feel like I'm making progress. I'm learning that some things can wait. In my case, if my room goes a few days uncleaned (I admit it), then so what? I understand cleaning is therapeutic for many (even me) but I'm trying to not be so paranoid about things getting done. Because I'm realizing that life really is about people. When you die, all that's left is the inspiration you had on others and the difference you made while you had the gift of life.

The outfit:

This is an outfit I wore for a casual evening of Starbucks and the movies (we saw Silver Linings Playbook- loved it). My cousin let me borrow her blouse because she knew how "me" it was. I loved it and am thinking of purchasing my own! The velvet skirt was originally bought by my sister but it didn't fit her quite right so she generously gave it to me. This is definitely a casual look for me and I was so comfortable yet still felt a tad quirky. 

Shopping Hiatus Update:

I am SIX days away from being done. AKA I have not purchased any clothing or accessories (minus a pair of work shoes- needed!) in almost two months. I have to say it has been insanely hard. I did not anticipate such intense cravings and urges to shop. The hardest part for me has been not thrift shopping. That is for sure my biggest weakness (that and chocolate). And as hard as it's been, I feel proud of myself. Contributing to accomplishing a goal feels good. I feel like I have more control over my shopping and I've had the opportunity to really know my wardrobe inside and out and to really enjoy the clothes that I am so grateful to have. 

Forever four: Lisa, Brandy, myself and Ashley.

We were blessed with this beautiful sunset on the ride up. Snapped from the car. 

 All outfit photos taken by Lisa. 

Outfit specs:

jean shirt: joe fresh, $14

blouse: borrowed

skirt: joe fresh, gifted 

leggings: sirens, $10

necklace: aldo, $10 

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