BODY IMAGE: HOW I'MBEING KINDER TOMYSELF IN LOCKDOWN

Being in lockdown has undoubtedly had a massive impact on our wellbeing, our self-esteem and for me, my body image. At first, I was really thrown off by the pandemic. I was concerned for my health and those around me, overwhelmed by the amount of panic and suffering that occurred across the globe, and I really struggled with the massive shifts in my day-to-day routine. I didn't know what this meant for me, my future, my health, and my plans for staying in the UK. Since I live in London and my family lives in Canada, I felt helpless. 

I coped with all of this in a number of ways. I've had many crying sessions. I've taken a lot of naps. I've eaten so many snacks. And I've woke up with the same thoughts every morning "this, again?" I've learned to take each day as it comes and adjust my schedule to my daily needs. 

One thing I struggled with in the beginning of lockdown was my body image. I was spending more time scrolling on Instagram, comparing myself to other people, more time looking in the mirror, and tonnes of time alone with my thoughts. This all started to affect my self-esteem. But then I started to realize that I didn't want to spend this entire lockdown feeling this way. I began to see that everything I was feeling was normal and in that moment, I accepted myself. I forgave myself for doing whatever I needed to do to get by. And if that meant snacks and naps, then so be it. I decided to be kinder and more gently with myself during this time. What we're all experiencing is a crisis and I shouldn't blame myself for feeling all kinds of emotions and needing to comfort myself in the ways I know how. 

Over time, I began to re-build my body confidence and I now feel like I love myself even more than I did pre-lockdown. Today I wanted to share what has helped me increase my body confidence during lockdown. Scroll to the end for the YouTube video! Yes — a video! It's been years. 

1. Forgiveness 

Negative body image can stem from not accepting the way we look and wishing we looked like someone else. I've learned that in order to treat myself with more love and kindness, I needed to forgive myself for the negative thoughts I've had towards my body and accept myself for who I am today. I'm all for making positive changes and aspiring to reach a level of health and wellbeing, but I've learned that before doing that, I must accept what I look like right now. By reaching a state of body neutrality, I can move forward towards body positivity. 

2. If it doesn't fit, put it away

Once I started lockdown and working remotely, my outfit choices changed significantly. I stopped wearing a bra (how awesome is this?!) and I stopped wearing jeans and belts. I didn't feel inspired to put any colour into my outfits or put the usual amount of effort in because I didn't see the point if I was just staying in my room. In the beginning, I couldn't even emotionally handle considering trying on my jeans. In the event that that didn't fit how they used to, I knew this would affect my self-esteem. By only wearing clothes that fit me, and not putting pressure on myself to dress exactly how I used to, I found this really helped me feel more comfortable in my skin. 

3. Curate your social feeds

As per my screen time reports, I've definitely doubled up my social media scrolling times. And in the beginning of lockdown, this really took a hit on my self-confidence. I began comparing myself and getting really emotionally attached to how many likes and follows I was getting. Over time, I decided to unfollow people who promoted weight loss, diets, and obsessive workout culture. I then followed people who inspire me to love myself as I am and promote positive body image.

Some of my favourite accounts: Body Posi Panda, Raffela, Lauren Nicole, Self Love Liv, Kenzie Brenna, Self Love Bible, Fat Girl Flow, Isobel Greenfield, Joey Darlinn, Brasilnality, Zach Miko, A Bear Named Troy, The Prep Guy, Kelvin Davis, and Harvey Guillen.

4. Get into your body 

When I think negatively about my body, I tend to see my body as something that is separate to me. It's something over there that I don't like. But when I actually look at myself, touch my body, and move my body, I feel more ownership of this vehicle. And when I feel ownership, I feel closer to my body and want to show it more love. Some of my favourite ways to get into my body are through dance, yoga, meditation, running, walking, and self-massage. 

5. Dress up for you 

In the beginning of lockdown, I didn't feel like dress up nicely to go nowhere. Yet, as weeks passed, I missed playing in my closet, doing my hair and make-up, and taking cute pics. Even though I had nowhere to go, I started doing this again and I really enjoyed it. Getting dressed up for me reminds me that I had nobody to impress but myself and all that matters is how I view myself, not what others think. Taking pictures also helps me to have factual evidence of what I look like, so it can destroy the distorted image I have in my head. 

6. Eat the cookies, but with love 

We all experience cravings from time to time and they're sometimes met with a lot of guilt and shame. Instead of either restricting myself from having certain foods or eating snacks while feeling guilty and shameful, I decided to allow myself to have these simple pleasures. I then practice eating the snacks slowly, with love and joy, and feeling happy about eating something I was really wanting. While we're under tremendous stress with this pandemic, we don't need added pressure to be perfect. 

7. Talk about it 

When I ruminate on the same negative thoughts around my body image, they can become all-consuming. Once I started sharing my concerns with friends, many of them related to me. All of us are undergoing many of the same emotions and experiences in lockdown and sharing this with friends and family helps take the weight of my chest. I instantly feel lighter once I get the thoughts out of my mind and onto paper or a conversation with a friend. Once I began to clear my mind of these thoughts, I could then focus on other things. Like projects, crafts, recipes, exercise, yoga, and gardening. As I focused on all these other aspects of my life, I began to spend less time focused on what I look like. 

My first YouTube video in years:

As lockdown restrictions ease up, please remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. Remember these tips and especially if you're re-entering your workplace, only wear clothes that fit you and make you feel confident. I am hopeful we will come out of this situation stronger, more united and much kinder to ourselves. 

What are you doing to be kinder to yourself during lockdown? 

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WHY I STOPPED CARING ABOUT WHATPEOPLE THINK

I've always been more interested in style versus fashion. Style encompasses everything — it's a mood, it's your clothes, it's the times, and it's your energy. Clothes are for us to wear. They're not supposed to wear us. Blah Blah Blah, you've heard all the quotes. And yet, sometimes I find myself being 'worn' by my clothes. 

When someone has style, you feel it. It's not that their wearing the latest fashions or the most expensive designers. It's that they are wearing what they want to wear because they want to wear it. Personal style only comes through when you have nothing holding you back. Other peoples' opinions and their comments, perfect people I see on insta, a fear of being rejected or unwelcome — these are all things that used to still hold me back sometimes from dressing fully for me. While I'm still on a journey of not caring what other people think, I have come to several realizations that act as my foundation. They're daily reminders to truly not give a F*CK. 

Blazer: Salvation Army, $5. Pants: The Gap, $22. Bag: Aldo, $23. Heels: Expression, The Bay, Outlet $15. Headscarf: Value Village, $4.

Caring too much about what other people think: 

is a waste of my time.

I used to spend hours and hours getting ready for school. And even then, I wouldn't ever be fully happy with the way I looked. I would over-analyze every detail. I don't look weird enough. I don't look high fashion enough. I don't look cool enough. This pattern is passé. And the list would go on. And on. My favourite outfits were created in 30 seconds. And while I knew this, I would still spend way too much time getting dressed. I have come to realize that allowing my own self-limiting judgments and those of others to affect me and what I wear in such a big way was a waste of my time and energy. I began to pretend that all those floating judgment heads didn't exist and all that mattered is that I was happy with how I looked. When I began to do this, I remembered how much I truly enjoy getting dressed and in turn, my outfits actually turned out better. 

Style is about so much more than clothes.

People who have style have a je ne sais quoi about them that goes beyond what they're wearing. They feel good. They are charming and perfectly unique. They dare to be different. They command attention without asking for it. I always try to remember this. Especially at times when I enter the over-analyzation department of my brain. You know — the one where you question everything and feel like your on a hamster wheel. What I lack in outfit, I know I can make up in presence. I remind myself that I am so much more. 

I only limit myself. 

When I'm too fixated on what people think of me, I am limiting myself. I've realized that when I care too much about what other people think, the only person who suffers is me. It's like placing my success parameters according to other people's perceptions. And the box gets smaller and smaller the more people's opinions I consider to be true. When I do my best to stop caring and cultivate a stronger sense of self, I feel my metaphorical sandbox dissolving and life opening up.

Caring too much about what other people think: 

is a joy-snatcher.

Do you ever get really excited or happy about something and then you tell someone about it and they're in such a negative mindset themselves that they shoot it down? Whether it's a dream or an idea, they just can't help but say something negative about it. I've had people make rude comments or jokes and tell me not to wear something. I am pretty good at laughing it off now but I do realize it takes away my experience of things that bring me joy. And I deserve to feel joy. We all do. When I started seeing other people's negative comments as a reflection of the relationship they have with themselves, I began to react less to it. 

PHOTOS BY MICHAEL TUNDO.

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Sporty at the Sunday Market

One of my new favourite things to do on Sundays is visit the Farmer's Market. You wouldn't typically picture me in a farmer's market and I wouldn't consider myself a foodie but I love the market because there's so much more to offer at the market than just your good old fruits and vegetables. I tend to visit the market closest to me at Brewer Park although there are a couple other ones in Ottawa. I dragged my sister out of bed to come with me last weekend. It's starting to feel a lot like summer here so I wanted to wear something light and comfortable. The dress is a recent thrift find from my trip to the states. It was brand new with tags and I got it for $6.99. I don't usually wear "revealing" dresses but this one is different for some reason. I love the sporty feel and the mesh cutouts. I paired it with my new balance running shoes and 90s style rain coat. My old orange bag went nicely with my sporty look and also fit all my delicious goodies. 

Like I said, it's not all food! I was pleasantly surprised to see this awesome jewellery booth. They're called Strut jewelry and are selling at various shows in Ottawa and online. Check them out here!

Baked potato goodness.

Jacket: Value Village, $7.99 Dress: Rock and Republic, Salvation Army, $6.99. Bag: Winners, $80. Shoes: New Balance, Sports Store in Watertown (forget the name), $50. Sunglasses: Target, $18. 

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Spring Cleaning: Mind and Body

Ahhhh Spring Cleaning, the most wonderful time of the year. Winter's gone and things are looking mushy outside (and inside). The transition period isn't always easy but it feels so good once you get things going. I've probably done the most cleaning ever this Spring. I took part in my first cleanse. I did an Ayurvedic Cleanse to firstly and most obviously clear out toxins, take out the trash, restore blood sugar levels, increase energy, boost metabolism and overall recharge. I was feeling tired and lethargic like many people do at this time of year. While it was really difficult at times, I really needed this. I feel a lot more energized, lighter, and triumphant (I can say that right?).  

Another form of spring cleaning I'm taking part in this spring is cleaning out negative self talk. I know I'm not alone in sometimes being my worst enemy. I can be really hard on myself and this translates into some really awful self talk. You know that voice in your head that tells you you're ugly or going nowhere or going to fail? That's the voice you need to challenge. 

Start small. Surround yourself with positive affirmations, quotes, and sayings. Put them wherever you know you'll see them. Your fridge, your phone, or your Facebook page, you know where to put them. And even if you don't believe you're beautiful or funny or strong, just read your affirmations and repeat them everyday. You'll notice a difference. Eventually the affirmations will shape your reality. You can re-wire your thoughts and change that voice in your head. You'll not only notice a more happier inside but you'll actually look and feel more beautiful on the outside. 

I'll help you get started. Follow this link and save your favourite affirmation to your computer. Set it as your Facebook or Twitter cover photo. Not only will you see it a lot but your friends will too. Spread positivity, happiness, and love. It's contagious. 

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Mental Health

This past month has been an absolute roller coaster. I moved out on August 1 with my twin sister and two weeks ago, my grandma suffered a heart attack (she's getting better now).  My mental and physical health have definitely been tested these past few weeks and I have to say with the support of family, friends, and a lot of coffee, I've managed to stay pretty positive. With all of that, my blog was put on the back burner. While I've had no time to post, I'm happy to announce that I'm getting back into the groove.

Today I am introducing the topic of mental health to my blog.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nurse, or psychiatrist of any sort. I am simply speaking to my experience working in the mental health field (as a communications assistant) and from life experience with family members and friends who have a mental illness. Please accept my blog posts simply as opinion pieces rather than medical advice. If you have a mental health concern, I urge you to speak to someone about it. To learn more about mental health, visit: www.ementalhealth.ca. 

As you can probably tell, fashion is a big passion of mine. I love the way clothes help me to feel confident, beautiful and unique. I believe that clothes and fashion are a part of who I am and are a way of expressing my personality and creativity. I strongly believe that how you feel on the outside is linked to how you feel on the inside and vice-versa. Feeling beautiful and loving the way I look certainly helps me to feel confident on the inside. Just like everyone else, I don't always love my outfit or my size or how my hair looks but I try my best to love myself no matter what. Feeling happy and confident reflects how we see ourselves. This is why our mental health is so important: it affects more than just the brain.

Mental health is something I'm very passionate about. This passion, however, is not fueled by fur or sequins but by experience. I've witnessed a number of family members and friends struggle with mental illness as well as heard the stories of many others. While a mental illness can be treated and symptoms can be managed, a lot of people who struggle with mental illness say the stigma attached to it is worse than the illness itself. This just makes me mad. It's hard enough having any illness without feeling scared or ashamed to talk about it and get help. I think the stigma associated with mental illness comes from many things, one being the fact that it deals with emotions and emotions are often tied to personality traits and characteristics of people. And while a mental illness can sometimes, and often times, be misunderstood as having bad character traits or personality flaws, it's important to remember that a mental illness is just that: an illness. And a mental illness is hard enough without having to deal with the judgement of others. My experience living with family who has a mental illness is where my passion to get involved came about. 

From seeing the way a mental illness affects day-to-day life plus having to deal with the stigma, I've become very passionate about promoting awareness, reducing stigma as well as being a lot more understanding as a person. The stigma really fires me up and makes me mad but I've managed to turn my anger into a drive to create change.

I've wanted to introduce this topic with you for a while now yet couldn't figure out how to introduce the topic of mental health into a fashion blog. However, I knew I had to find a way as mental health is literally as big (if not bigger) part of my life as fashion. As I got to thinking, I realized that fashion and mental health are connected; it's the connection between physical health and mental health. Feeling stressed, upset, or anxious can be emotionally and physically draining. And low energy leads to less motivation to take care of your physical health, and in turn a reduced level of confidence. When you dislike how you look, it can affect how you feel. I want to explore the two topics together and hopefully give you some insight into mental health and why it's so important to take good care of your mind. I also want let you know that you're strong, you're beautiful and you matter.

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Express Yourself: The Magic of Clothing

I think that fashion is something that contains millions of sub-topics. It's not just about clothes or money or runways and parties. Those are a few of the sub-topics. Fashion for me has a lot to do with emotion. How many of you dress based on your mood? I certainly do. Weather and daily events are taken into consideration as well but I'd say that most days it's what I'm feeling like that predicts my outfit. Some days, my emotions control the outfit. Others, my outfit controls my emotions. Clothes make me feel different emotions. The more I like my outfit, the more confident I tend to feel. Certain colours, textures and styles make me feel a certain way. I love the power that clothes have to not only transform the way I look but the way I feel. For example, bright colours and sequins lift my mood and make me feel cheery and bright. 

Summer 2011? Vintage dress from Value Village, Aldo shoes. 

The same can be said about confidence. Your confidence can dictate how you dress and how you dress will influence your confidence.  It's not always about what you're wearing but how the clothes make you feel. I don't like the so-called guidebook or 'rules' of style. For lack of a better cliche, rules are meant to be broken. I dress for myself, in expressing my creativity and love for fashion. I try to encourage people I meet to just wear what they want, regardless of what people may think. If you like how you look in something, or how it makes you feel, then WEAR it. I agree that certain styles will flatter different body shapes but fashion for me isn't always about flattering my shape but being creative and wearing whatever I want. And what is creative to me may not be creative to others. Personal style is exactly that: it's personal. If wearing grey is a jump from black for a person, then so be it. If I feel like wearing a fur vest, turban, and glittery shoes, I will without hesitation. 

Sequin jacket and shoes from Value Village.

 Whenever I'm wearing something that's eccentric and starts a conversation, I constantly hear the other person saying a variation of "I could never pull that off". I always say "YES YOU CAN!". I don't like the idea of "pulling it off". It's as easy as putting it on and being fearless. When I put on something strangely cool or different, it gives me this weird rush of confidence and I feel fearless. I also don't understand the point in saving things for special occasions or events when you can live everyday like it's a special day!

Vintage beaded dress. 

 Confidence is so important to me and only recently did I realize how important. It literally affects almost everything in daily life from how you interact with people and make decisions to how you walk and the way you speak. Confidence to me is feeling comfortable expressing myself without the fear of what people will think or say. I'm used to receiving just about every outfit comment possible and all of them, good or bad, make me happy for some reason.  Some comments even make me burst into laughter. I was once called a gorilla for wearing a black fur vest and a martini waiter for wearing a bow tie (funny, no?).

I think what holds some people back from dressing how they want is the fear of opening the possibility of receiving comments. However, if you feel truly confident in what you're wearing, what people think or say won't matter. And if you don't feel confident but you do like what you're wearing, then fake the confidence. Shift your inner voice and talk to yourself. Tell yourself you're beautiful and stylish, and creative and unique. Act confident. What I'm trying to say is just dress how you want and the confidence will eventually come. It takes time and I can say there are days when I'm not confident, but that's when my clothes step in. 

My heaven: the thrift store.

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