Yogi Adventures: Part 1 / January

As some of you know, I'm embarking on a journey to self-mastery. It takes the form of a Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training hosted by the one and only Kulmeet. The training partakes over one weekend per month, for six months, and last weekend was the first training. It was like my first day of school all over again, heh! 
I want to share my yogi adventures with you since this is such a big part of my life and who I am. Kundalini yoga has helped me get through so many difficult times. My regular practice has taught me how to properly breathe (I know, right?), I've learned how to be more tolerant and patient, how to relax in stressful situations, and it's changed my relationship with pain. It's helped me become a stronger, more peaceful and gracious human. It has only done me good. 

However, I didn't become the person I am today overnight and without work, let me tell you. This type of yoga is weird. It's hard. It will test you. But if you can work through your negative mind, you will reap the rewards. 

Kundalini yoga is known as the yoga of awareness. It's a science of the mind and body, to elevate the spirit. It is a non-denominational spiritual practice. It's yoga for everyone. 

Last weekend I was surrounded by 13 fellow yoga students, many teachers, and friends. We learned about the origins of Kundalini yoga, how to properly do different assanas (postures) and pranayamas (breathing styles), I FINALLY participated in my very first Sadhana (early morning meditation), and we learned how to modify exercises for individual strengths. 

We had two teachers instructing this weekend: Guru Dharam from Sweden and Siri Sat from New York. We had lectures, discussions, demonstrations, watched a movie, did yoga sets, meditated, chanted, laughed, cried, and ate some delicious vegetarian food while sipping homemade yogi tea. Shoutout to the lovely kitchen peeps! 

I felt like I already knew so much about Kundalini yoga until this weekend. I now know I am just scratching the surface. The more I learn, the better my practice is. I want to become a better teacher to help the people in my life and myself. 

I thoroughly enjoyed the discussions I had with the students and teachers. Each conversation was so deep and real. One of my favourite parts was when we all shared a little story about ourselves. Learning about how and why others practice this yoga was so cool. People practice to become the best version of themselves and the stories of how they got there are so beautiful. 

I'm truly so grateful for the opportunity to take this course. This one weekend has changed me so much already. I can't wait to continue on this journey and see where it takes me. 

Oh, and I have yogi homework! We were assigned a 40 day meditation and kriya (yoga set) in order to learn how to have a daily practice. It's not going to be easy but I do know how good I will feel. 

Thank you for reading and following along on my journey. If you ever have any questions about Kundalini yoga or anything really, never hesitate to get a hold of me. 

Sat nam! 

Atmadev (this is my spiritual name, it means whose soul is attuned to the divine) 

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How to deal with anxiety & be fearless

I've gone from having anxiety and being afraid to leave the house and having a fear of heights to going on planes, running races, and learning to be fearless. This year has been my year for taking chances, facing my fears, and learning to love me. I've wanted to make a video about this for so long and I'm happy to finally bring it to you. 

I've shortened my story a lot for the sake of this not being a film so just keep that in mind while watching. There are so many things I would add but I will save those for another video. I hope this helps or inspires you in any way. Please share it with a friend if you think they might benefit! 

As always, thank you so much for your love and support on here, it truly means a lot! 

If you're experiencing mental health issues and need help, please check out my other posts on this topic (which include links to get help): 

• Let's Talk: My Story
• Mental Illness: How to get help in Ottawa and be an advocate 

Comment any tips and resources you find helpful, it's all about sharing!

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My Self Care Routine

As Mental Health Week comes to an end, I wanted to share some of the things that help me stay as anxiety-free as possible. Back in January I shared my struggles with anxiety and while I still have occasional slip ups, I've come a looooong way and I'm still going. 

I think when it comes to our health, there's certainly a place for professionals and medication but we have to play a big part in our own wellness too. We have to take control and responsibility and do as much as we can to be healthy. 

Positive Thoughts

When I was in a really dark place, it was a combination of things that helped me see the light. The most significant was changing my inner voice and challenging my thoughts. 

I started watching videos on healing and the power of positive thoughts. I began to see things in a new light and that kick started my journey to getting better. It wasn't the cure but it helped in a huge way. A good way to start is to put quotes and positive affirmations on your social media, wall, desk, or fridge (anywhere you'll see it). Watch videos or movies that will lift you up. 

People

There were many nights where I heavily depended on my family and friends for support. Some nights I made my sister sleep with me because I couldn't stop thinking about suicide and dying. My thoughts would spiral and I would be too panicked to sleep alone. Some nights I would call my boyfriend late, crying, and he would help me feel better. My parents had to rush over when I had my first panic attack. My best friend would hang out with me and we'd just stay in and relax. I learned that it's ok to need other people and be vulnerable. We're not meant to go it alone. 

Yoga and Meditation

Taking time to focus on the body and mind in a quiet space truly does wonders. Part of the reason I experienced my breakdown was because I was living too quickly and doing too much. Yoga and meditation have taught me how to slow down, reflect, and clear my mind. I've practiced Kundalini yoga almost every Sunday for over a year now and I meditate every morning. These two things have become habits for me and I feel off if I don't do them. I'm planning a blog post on Kundalini so you can learn what exactly it is and why I do it so stay tuned for that. 

How to meditate
Kundalini yoga, Where I go

Exercise

This is self explanatory but I have to exercise a few times a week to help me cope with life's stresses. It's important to realize that there will always be stress in life so find a healthy way to cope with it. There's a long list of benefits and many are mental health related. Exercising boosts happy chemicals in your brain that help you feel relaxed. It sharpens your memory and helps you focus. I feel tired and foggy when I don't get my weekly dose of exercise. 

Healthy Foods

When I eat junk, I feel like junk. It sucks because I used to be able to eat whatever I want and not have any consequences. I think it's so cool how food has the power to make you feel energized and glowing from the inside out. I just don't get that same feeling from eating bad foods so I try to keep my diet on the healthy side. Of course I'm human and have a life that includes chocolate and cookies and ice cream. I try to primarily eat healthy foods because I feel better that way. 

Prioritize your Time

Before when I was asked to do something or attend an event, I never thought about how the rest of my week looked or even if I actually wanted to do it. If I could physically be there, I would be. While this was fun, it left me with virtually no time for myself. No time to relax or accomplish personal goals, or see people I actually wanted to see. Now I use a planner to write down my schedule for the week and ensure that I have a few nights to myself or to spend with my boyfriend. This helps me to not overbook myself and ensure that I have enough time to incorporate my self care routine. 

Surroundings and Purpose

When I began my wellness journey, I began changing up my apartment to include things that simply make me feel happy when I'm home. One being plants. I admit I have a bit of an obsession with them but they do clean the air and they make me oh so happy. Try to find something you love that will make your home conducive to wellness. Be it a painting, a waterfall, or a puppy. When I say purpose, I mean ask yourself "Am I doing something I love or working towards my dream?" If you hate what you're doing everyday, then it's going to be hard to grow or be well on a daily basis. See what else is out there and do some inner exploring to figure out what would make you happy. Try volunteering to see what you really like doing. 

My new baby. A coral cactus. 

Conquer Fears

A large part of why anxiety sucks is because you're constantly worried or scared of something. Your brain revolves around fears and it's hard to get out of. Once I tried doing things I was scared of, I realized that I could do it, and that boosted my confidence. At one point, I was terrified of drinking coffee because I thought it would give me a headache and then I would shake and potentially faint or this or that (I would catastrophize the situation). I know it sounds silly but it was actually something I was afraid of. Once I tried drinking a coffee (I did it in the comfort of my home on a day off) and realized that all my fears were wrong, it helped me to move past it. 

I've come such a long way from that moment. I was also afraid of exercising at one point because of the same reason (headache, heart beating fast, etc), but slowly I incorporated little workouts into my day, and I'm so proud to say that I will be running my first ever 5 km tomorrow morning. Yes, running. Yes, 5 kms!

Me with my run group! L-R (Lauren, Me, Joelle, Tracey). Photo by @RunningRoomRose!

We are all capable of anything if we face our fears and just do it! Don't let anxiety tell you otherwise. You are worthy of achieving anything you want. If I can do it, you can too. 

I hope this list helps you in some way! I truly rely on all of these things each day to help me stay well. Hope you've had a great Mental Health Week!

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