WHY I STOPPED CARING ABOUT WHATPEOPLE THINK

I've always been more interested in style versus fashion. Style encompasses everything — it's a mood, it's your clothes, it's the times, and it's your energy. Clothes are for us to wear. They're not supposed to wear us. Blah Blah Blah, you've heard all the quotes. And yet, sometimes I find myself being 'worn' by my clothes. 

When someone has style, you feel it. It's not that their wearing the latest fashions or the most expensive designers. It's that they are wearing what they want to wear because they want to wear it. Personal style only comes through when you have nothing holding you back. Other peoples' opinions and their comments, perfect people I see on insta, a fear of being rejected or unwelcome — these are all things that used to still hold me back sometimes from dressing fully for me. While I'm still on a journey of not caring what other people think, I have come to several realizations that act as my foundation. They're daily reminders to truly not give a F*CK. 

Blazer: Salvation Army, $5. Pants: The Gap, $22. Bag: Aldo, $23. Heels: Expression, The Bay, Outlet $15. Headscarf: Value Village, $4.

Caring too much about what other people think: 

is a waste of my time.

I used to spend hours and hours getting ready for school. And even then, I wouldn't ever be fully happy with the way I looked. I would over-analyze every detail. I don't look weird enough. I don't look high fashion enough. I don't look cool enough. This pattern is passé. And the list would go on. And on. My favourite outfits were created in 30 seconds. And while I knew this, I would still spend way too much time getting dressed. I have come to realize that allowing my own self-limiting judgments and those of others to affect me and what I wear in such a big way was a waste of my time and energy. I began to pretend that all those floating judgment heads didn't exist and all that mattered is that I was happy with how I looked. When I began to do this, I remembered how much I truly enjoy getting dressed and in turn, my outfits actually turned out better. 

Style is about so much more than clothes.

People who have style have a je ne sais quoi about them that goes beyond what they're wearing. They feel good. They are charming and perfectly unique. They dare to be different. They command attention without asking for it. I always try to remember this. Especially at times when I enter the over-analyzation department of my brain. You know — the one where you question everything and feel like your on a hamster wheel. What I lack in outfit, I know I can make up in presence. I remind myself that I am so much more. 

I only limit myself. 

When I'm too fixated on what people think of me, I am limiting myself. I've realized that when I care too much about what other people think, the only person who suffers is me. It's like placing my success parameters according to other people's perceptions. And the box gets smaller and smaller the more people's opinions I consider to be true. When I do my best to stop caring and cultivate a stronger sense of self, I feel my metaphorical sandbox dissolving and life opening up.

Caring too much about what other people think: 

is a joy-snatcher.

Do you ever get really excited or happy about something and then you tell someone about it and they're in such a negative mindset themselves that they shoot it down? Whether it's a dream or an idea, they just can't help but say something negative about it. I've had people make rude comments or jokes and tell me not to wear something. I am pretty good at laughing it off now but I do realize it takes away my experience of things that bring me joy. And I deserve to feel joy. We all do. When I started seeing other people's negative comments as a reflection of the relationship they have with themselves, I began to react less to it. 

PHOTOS BY MICHAEL TUNDO.