HOW VULNERABILITYCAN LEAD TO HAPPINESS

Lately I've been very curious about what makes someone great. I would define greatness as being happy and living your truth. I'm curious about what separates people who are happy and those who are not. I recently attended a lecture on happiness and it was packed. The speaker said that all everyone wants is to be happy. I would agree.

More and more, I'm learning that our happiness is largely connected to, well, connection. And when I think about it, I feel the most amount of joy when I connect with people.

Tunic: Vintage Market, London UK. Jeans: Urban Planet. Boots: Dr. Martens. Sunglasses: Camden Market. 

I really like how Brené Brown, a research professor who studies vulnerability, worded this in her TED Talk: 

Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. It's neurobiologically how we're wired.

In a world where we're hearing people say catching feelings like they're germs, we often lose sight of our own biology, and the fact that we're hard-wired to need each other to survive. We're supposed to feel feelings. We're supposed to need each other. In order to allow for deep connection, though, we have to allow ourselves to be seen. And that can be really scary. 

When we put ourselves out there — whether through our words, our art, our music or business, we are opening the door for potential criticism and judgment. It also means we're exposing ourselves to answers and opposing views, which is a lot more fulfilling than stagnating in the comfort of what we already know. 

I spend a lot of time listening to music from people I admire, watching documentaries and listening to podcasts that feature people who have overcome incredible obstacles to stay true to themselves. I feel so inspired by people who have dared to dream, to go beyond their fears, and stand up for something they believe in. This helps me stay in a headspace that's conducive to me achieving my dreams. 

I'm almost always listening to music. The artist I've consistently come back to listening to lately has been SZA. One of her songs in particular made it onto my most listened to in 2017 list. It's called Supermodel and while I must've listened to it over a hundred times, it recently inspired a train of thought that inspired this post. 

Why I can't stay alone just by myself? 
Wish I was comfortable just with myself
But I need you, but I need you, but I need you

These lyrics convey such deep vulnerability. I started thinking about why I love her music so much and that's exactly it. She's not afraid to say what so many of us are often thinking but would never dare to speak. She's tapped into a level of vulnerability in her lyrics that I'm not even ready for but need so badly. 

It's clear that SZA's vulnerability has contributed to her success in music and life. This got me thinking about vulnerability and how it can be used to help us connect deeper, feel less alone, and be happier. 

Opening up and letting people see who we truly are is a gift. Sharing a part of you with someone is sort of like a sacrifice that you make for them. It's a risk that almost always brings reward.

PHOTOS BY LISA KIDD.

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Yogi Adventures: Part 1 / January

As some of you know, I'm embarking on a journey to self-mastery. It takes the form of a Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training hosted by the one and only Kulmeet. The training partakes over one weekend per month, for six months, and last weekend was the first training. It was like my first day of school all over again, heh! 
I want to share my yogi adventures with you since this is such a big part of my life and who I am. Kundalini yoga has helped me get through so many difficult times. My regular practice has taught me how to properly breathe (I know, right?), I've learned how to be more tolerant and patient, how to relax in stressful situations, and it's changed my relationship with pain. It's helped me become a stronger, more peaceful and gracious human. It has only done me good. 

However, I didn't become the person I am today overnight and without work, let me tell you. This type of yoga is weird. It's hard. It will test you. But if you can work through your negative mind, you will reap the rewards. 

Kundalini yoga is known as the yoga of awareness. It's a science of the mind and body, to elevate the spirit. It is a non-denominational spiritual practice. It's yoga for everyone. 

Last weekend I was surrounded by 13 fellow yoga students, many teachers, and friends. We learned about the origins of Kundalini yoga, how to properly do different assanas (postures) and pranayamas (breathing styles), I FINALLY participated in my very first Sadhana (early morning meditation), and we learned how to modify exercises for individual strengths. 

We had two teachers instructing this weekend: Guru Dharam from Sweden and Siri Sat from New York. We had lectures, discussions, demonstrations, watched a movie, did yoga sets, meditated, chanted, laughed, cried, and ate some delicious vegetarian food while sipping homemade yogi tea. Shoutout to the lovely kitchen peeps! 

I felt like I already knew so much about Kundalini yoga until this weekend. I now know I am just scratching the surface. The more I learn, the better my practice is. I want to become a better teacher to help the people in my life and myself. 

I thoroughly enjoyed the discussions I had with the students and teachers. Each conversation was so deep and real. One of my favourite parts was when we all shared a little story about ourselves. Learning about how and why others practice this yoga was so cool. People practice to become the best version of themselves and the stories of how they got there are so beautiful. 

I'm truly so grateful for the opportunity to take this course. This one weekend has changed me so much already. I can't wait to continue on this journey and see where it takes me. 

Oh, and I have yogi homework! We were assigned a 40 day meditation and kriya (yoga set) in order to learn how to have a daily practice. It's not going to be easy but I do know how good I will feel. 

Thank you for reading and following along on my journey. If you ever have any questions about Kundalini yoga or anything really, never hesitate to get a hold of me. 

Sat nam! 

Atmadev (this is my spiritual name, it means whose soul is attuned to the divine) 

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